I wish I could borrow someone elses brain...

With someone elses brain, I'd re-write this scene. It's the scene in my book that the romantic in me spent many days day-dreaming about. I mean- what if someone you dreamed about, someone you longed for but didn't really know just showed up right in front of you? On purpose?

I guess since it has never happened to me, I can't describe it. I do, however have lots of realistic ways to describe how someone DIDN'T come back, and DIDN'T love me, after all...but that's another book.

A good writer could relay the tension, the sensation of seeing this person in the flesh right in front of you. They could describe the sound of his voice and how it was the most blissful thing in world. But not me. I do know how to take a pivotal point and let it fall flat.

Here's a short except of said scene:

They opened the door to the outside was felt the rush of cold night air. Nina shuddered and squeezed his hand. He was looking at her again, she found it hard to look back. It was too familiar, too close.
“Do you have to be somewhere?” She asked. She had hoped it wouldn’t be so cold so that there would be an excuse to wander around with him. She was afraid he’d disappear. “Because, I can stay out for a while if you want.”
He’d come closer to her while she looked away. His free hand touched her face and then smoothed over her hair. Nina's eyes closed and she leaned against the wall outside the restaurant. She released his hand from hers and let him hold her face. All the cold was gone, and his lips brushed against hers. “Stay with me tonight. Please.” He implored.
“Ok.” She whispered, letting herself reach up and kiss him. Her hands reached up behind his head and into his hair. He pressed against her now, and moved one arm around her waist. “Where? Where are you staying?”


Oh YUCK...I'm going to go vomit now. Nobody should implore anything in this book. These are the things that STOP me from writing. Stupid sections that I can't figure out how to portray. I need a writing instructor or a brain transplant- or at least some rum so I can re-read it without feeling like a total loser.

I'm going to re-write this one section a re-post it soon. Hopefully it will be less vomit-inducing.