The Brightest of Wallflowers

Painting class trip the Crosker Art Museum

2010-11-19T11:07:00.000-08:00

I had so much fun yesterday! Can you believe I've never been to an art museum? I was trying to think of why...I think it has to do with your family. If you didn't grow up doing it, you probably don't think about doing it as an adult. I guess. I dont know! It also has something to do with my own cocky attitude I've always had. The idea that somehow I don't need to see some famous artists' work-- I make my own art.

What a dork I've been.

I was so inspired!! I loved wandering around and letting myself sink into the paintings.

I was surprised to love the Wayne Thiebaud exhibit. I knew about the cakes...I didn't think I cared about the cakes. And...truthfully, I'm not a huge fan of the food paintings. I LOVED, loved his figurative works!!

No photo's were allowed on the ones I really loved, but I was able to take a picture of this one, that belongs to the Crocker:

Here's a couple of my other favorites in other exhibits:

"Autumn Landscape"
Oil on Canvas, 1960
Jerrold Ballaine

"Gold of the Caucasus"
Acrylic on Canvas, 1969
Fred Thomas Martin

"Winters Blue Cold"
Oil on Canvas 1990-1991
Christopher Brown

Figure Drawing #16

2010-11-18T22:18:00.000-08:00

Ok, at this point I'm numbering posts instead of classes- I haven't a clue what class we're on!

We've been working on back muscles, portraits, and lots of seated poses.

Here's my favorites of the week:

I really want to get Mikes face. I think this- with more time- could be very close!!

Whats lost is found, what was scabby is...

2010-11-17T11:53:00.000-08:00

well, still scabby. I'm mildly afraid I'll never actually look cute like my friends. This is so good for my terrible vanity problem. I have to see this blackish red thing in my peripheral vision 24 hours a day. And I have to suck it up and act like I don't care about it. Because I shouldn't....because I'm a grown woman. Oh my pride...

My bag was found, exactly where I suspected. Frankly I'm lucky no one decided to just grab my pencil sets out of there! I'm so relieved. I really didn't want to lose almost an entire semester full of work!

Here's a part of my life I don't write much about...(for those who may not know me personally) (which I think amounts to...zero? whatever...it could happen)...

my messy house.

I'm having a party here Friday night. I'm very excited! I wanted to get friends together to hang out without anyone having to bring a present or kids. It seems the only time women tend to see each other is at their kids' schools, kid's birthday parties, baseball games, or the occasional baby shower or blessingway.

So, no one has to be having a baby, or turning older, and no kids...just food and giggling. I love it.

My only hurdle?

My disaster of a house.

I'm really only posting this so I can post before and after shots. I need motivation. I'm a mutant type of person who usually doesn't care about house work. I just don't keep up with it at all. At least this house cleans up nicely and has plenty of room- without that, there would be no party.

Hopefully I can post Friday midday pictures of both my unscabbed nose and my un-crapped house!!

Craptastic!!

2010-11-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

Today sucks.

Anyone who knows me knows I get really upset about fairly trivial stuff.

Currently its the fact that my portfolio bag is GONE. Gone with all my colored pencils, my sketch box and an entire semester full of Figure Drawing work. Yes....a hundred sheets of gestures and studies. All due pretty soon. Probably $75 worth of pencils and supplies on top of the bag thats worth..ok, well...$40, maybe.

Where the heck is it? I had it at Thurdays painting class...and I can't see a window in which it wouldn't made it home with me, but it seems like the only option. I've called Folsom Lake college, they told me to contact my professor. But she walked out with me! And another class came in as we were leaving- and I knew some of the students in that class- if someone saw me leave behind my giant bag, they would have stopped me.

Tonight we are reviewing our portfolios...wonderful I don't have one!!

And if I don't write today, I'll be over 3,000 words behind on NanoWrimo. Very frustrating. What happened to this weekend?

Well. I lost Saturday because I decided to go out with my friends. We had a BLAST....even got all of our noses pierced.

Of course...today, mine looks like THIS:

Nope...not black jewelry- it's a tiny blue stone. Covered in caked blood. Cute. It wont stop bleeding today.

And my house is a mess...and i have a party hear on Friday. Totally my problem...my fault...I'm just frustrated.

WHERE IS MY PORTFOLIO?????

20,028...the sweet freedom of fiction

2010-11-12T23:53:00.000-08:00

Meaning, in fiction you can do whatever you want. Including solving a major problem by simply allowing a giant lion of sorts to be able to shape-shift and become a water beast. And I've decided this character can breathe under water.

Why? Because people write about elves! Because Frodo's ring called to him, because Aslan is a freaking lion who talks...because of Santa Claus and the tooth fairy...

NO RULEs!!

Fiction is a wonderful, wonderful world.

Especially because my character has a giant cat that he can ride on who shape-shifts when the need arises. Beautiful stuff.

I'm sleepy now, enjoy my nerd-tastic picture. Deathly Hollows comes out next weekend... I'm almost scared to see it, I love the book so much. Don't mess with my Severus too much, screenwriters!!

(I'm pretty sure no one who reads this blog is into Harry Potter, but, it is my blog...)

**Ok...I should never post after midnight...yikes. I do like the Harry Potter image, though!!**

a conspiracy: now finished

2010-11-12T12:05:00.000-08:00

This is the result of last weeks painting featuring the clarinet and the pipe:

I'm pretty happy with it. It feels unfinished, but I like the space this has. More opacity might make this painting too flat.

Here's a close up:

Spontaneous performances- bringing classical music to everyone!

2010-11-10T09:44:00.001-08:00

I was so delighted by this post on the NPR blog, Deceptive Cadence. I am a big advocate of classical music...to the chagrin of my close friends and family. I'm so tired of it being looked at as boring or outdated.

This post talks about spontaneous performances taking place all over the world by opera troupes, orchestras, etc. I love the idea that people are bringing this music to the street level- making it accessible and alive for people who may not have ever given it a chance.

I know that when I was in high school, our choir traveled to a huge competition to sing. Some of the school performed classical choral pieces- and I was hooked. There is nothing like having your senses overtaken by a performance! I remember hearing a large choir sing T.L. de Victoria's "O Magnum Mysterium". I have loved that piece since then.

When I was in college I got to hear a real life orchestra for the first time and was dumbfounded. It was only a rehearsal...but I was nearly in tears.

When I sang with the Nyack College Chorale, I routinely found myself choked up. I remember one time in particular when we where practicing and a friend of mine went up to sing a solo. I had never heard her sing as I sat several rows away from her on the stage. She was a voice major and was very passionate about it. I'll never forget it- the piano started, and then Kathleen began to sing. Tears rolled down my face- I had never heard anyone sing like that...in the same room as me! The beauty of it was overwhelming.

I had several such experiences through college, and they have formed a love of this music that will last forever in me.

So, check out this post on NPR....watch the videos. I hope we see more of this!

Figure Drawing #15

2010-11-09T15:10:00.000-08:00

We worked on another long pose last night- this time of our clothed model, Kyle.

I had to start over, since my first take on this was too small, and innaccurate. I'm pretty happy with my re-do, though. I made it BIG, this time so I could get his face right. I need more work on this, though to finish the values. It's big, so, it's a lot of pencil work!

Oh yeah, AND I sing...

2010-11-08T12:57:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot. I do sing. I don't know how well. People always are inclined to say nice things to you when you hold a microphone, but my paranoid nature plays against me with this. I'm not sure I'm as good as I think I am. That's ok, I guess. Singing is such a weird, tied up issue for me.

I do love crooning though. Last Saturday night Hickory Wind, which I sing with sometimes, played at a benefit for Twin Lakes Food Bank in Folsom. It was a laid back thing, and we were just playing our mellow stuff.

It was fun, and I got a good meal out of it!! And I get to be with such cool people!!

Painting class #11

2010-11-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

We were to bring in 3 to 5 objects to create our own still life that communicates something. We were given some: a secret, a tragedy, a triumph, a conspiracy, an argument and a conversation.

What I came up with ends up, to me, being a combination of a few of those things. I at first gathered up a lantern, a rusted pipe and a pitcher. After further thought, I pulled out an old clarinet we have and was just positive it was what I needed in this painting.

Could I have chosen a harder thing to paint? I suppose so, but this is pretty rough. I love the feeling of the still life set up:

But the execution is pretty rough. Here's my underpainting:

And this is what I ended the class with:

Oh, I hope I can pull this one together. That back ground is...tough. I want to achieve some realism with the clarinet, but those keys are going to be a total pain!!

The color scheme of this bugs me. I suppose right now, it's analogous, but I tend to like things that cross the color wheel a bit. What should I do? Add some colors to the clarinet that don't exist? That hurts my brain a bit, but I think it is the answer.

Figure Drawing Class #14

2010-11-08T12:38:00.000-08:00

Ok...this was last Wednesday! I'm such a bad blogger.

We had one pose for an hour and a half- it was wonderful and terrible all at once.

I started with a gesture and proceeded like normal until about 25 minutes in, I realized- everything was off. REALLY off. This pose was very very foreshortened from my point of view and I had made her legs too long, her torso too long...and thus everything around her was wrong.

SO frustrating!!

I think, in the end, I came very close to getting it right. At some point, though, with a model in front of you, you have to make the best of the time you have. I did this by getting her face right...and I feel I did.

I know her legs look short, but they aren't'!! I swear!! I loved this pose- she wore red shoes, a straw hat and a black boa. Diane is awesome!

Forgive me, NaNoWriMo has eaten my brain.

2010-11-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

At least for the last three days. I'm behind, too!! I'm supposed to be up over 13,000 by now, but I'm at just over 10,000. Above is a word count calendar for this month. It really pays to stay on track, let me tell you!

I think I can catch up today. All it takes is a couple day of NOT writing your 1,667 words, and suddenly, you are stuck with a deficit that will take hours to make up!!

I like my story, I think. It's different than I'd imagined it. It's a fantasy, for sure, but I need to start making it more fantastical, I guess. It doesn't really matter, though. It's good to write. Even if it's utter crap.

I'm still researching my "real" novel. (I'm not sure whats so real about it) I've got some wonderful library books I'm charging though. I'm taking lots of notes. I guess I'm a geek- I love research for research's sake. I need to work on my other characters, too, it's just that John is so central to the plot, I need to develop him completely. The girl in it (who used to be Nina, but I changed to Priscilla....there is alot in a name!!)is so much like me, it's hard to "research" how she'd react to anything. I know how she would act. I'm an expert on that one.

Finished?

2010-11-03T14:08:00.001-07:00

"Losing His Grip"

I think it's done. I think. :)

Figure Drawing Class #13

2010-11-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

We had a few long poses and a lot of 5 minute poses.

Here's one of my longer ones- photographed badly, as usual. I sighted this in quite a bit, but her head seems too small? I feel the face is correct, though. She's such a wonderful model.

Here's a shorter standing pose that is still in gesture-mode:

Last weekend I randomly attempted a self portrait. I haven't done this in years. I didn't finish, but I was interesting to try this again with some sight skills under my belt.

NANOWRIMO 2010!!!!!!!!

2010-11-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

Woo-hoo!! It's already started and I am right on schedule to reach 50,000 by the end of the month!!!

Currently, I'm at 1,958 and cruising along on a story about a kidnapped queen and an impending war!!

I love Nanowrimo. It's not too late for you to start!! Ever wanted to write a novel? How about a memoir? This is your chance!! DO IT!!

I'm obviously passionate about this-- I think its an awesome opportunity to try writing on for size with out any fear of ridicule.

I hope to get a widget on here that posts my word count...we'll see if I can figure THAT out.

Here's a link to my author page, just in case I don't.

Painting class #10

2010-10-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

Get comfortable...I'm feeling wordy. Maybe its because it's almost November 1st (and the beginning of National Novel Writing month!!), or maybe it's just my brain still in high gear.

I've read more books in the past 2 months than I read all last year. Thats kind of freaky. (and sad?) I told a friend that right now I just need to throw as much as I can in the till while I can still consume the information. It seems like somewhere around March my brain begins to slow and shut down it's capacity for processing new information. Weird machine, my head.

Any way...what was I thinking? OH! Yeah...painting....it's all sort of running to together in a really wonderful way right now. The characters in my head, the brush in my hand, the music playing in the car....all one force.

I am almost done with our most recent project. The object was to choose a phrase from a list given to us and express it in a non-representational manner.

One option was clear for me. I laughed out loud when I saw it: "Losing His Grip".

I had to paint it. I am neck-deep in the research phase for the re-write of Blood Freckles (which will probably NOT be the title, by the way). Most of my research has been about mental illness ad what it really means to be Schizophrenic or have Manic-depressive illness. I've found that the rabbit hole goes very, very deep and the possibilities for misdiagnosis are incredibly high. (an sad fact, but advantageous for the sake of my plot line) Especially for John Louwen...my character. He is no longer some words on a paper- after so much research and thought, I can almost hear him breathing.

It was clear to me that this painting is about him. About him losing HIS grip....the world falling away into a fog or an abyss. All the parts of him he tries to hang onto fragmenting into something he cant control. Beautiful and sad.

The form came to me immediately- and the paint just flew out onto paper (which I already posted about)

I don't know what it is about this shape that keeps coming out of my paint sketches, but I'm trusting that its what needs to be expressed.

Here is the piece itself- not finished, but heading that way:

And now with some more work on it but still not finished:

My other conceptual paint-sketches are around the piece...I'm still trying to figure out what else needs to be in this painting.

Figure Drawing class #12

2010-10-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

We didn't have a model, but our professor was nice enough to do poses most of the night for us. I've been working on getting a completed drawing as well as getting the face right. I need to work on hands...I'm in complete denial of that.

Here's a study I did of Margaret's head and hand. The face is better than the hand- the hand is not so good.

Later, I took what was going to be a quick gesture into a more thorough color-pencil drawing. I start with blue/violet without any intention of adding other colors. I probably should have started with an ochre of sorts or anything lighter.

I am getting better at the faces....

Figure Drawing class #11

2010-10-26T14:37:00.000-07:00

I think it's 11...who the heck knows.

We did some extended poses last night, one 45 and one 30.

I think I'm getting closer the getting the models face right. I see now that his nose is too long here. Gee...I need to take a portrait class... (and I will...next semester!!)

His back was turned to me for the second pose so I focused in on the musculature back there....his arm looks weird, though.

Painting class #9 ...part 2

2010-10-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, now that I assuaged my curiosity about that Rothko painting (phew!!! Painters emergency!!), I can finish talking about last Thursdays class!!

We looked at our finished abstraction projects...not everyone brought all three. It was really interesting to see other peoples interpretations. To see how someone else paints a still life, then distills it down....very, very cool.

This is Kim's:

Kim saw the angles in the still life and carried them through all three paintings. I love how congruent these three pieces are!!

This is Cindy's:

Cindy explored bananas! She really, really did!! She researched them, explored the colors....she really put her mind into this and transformed this still life into something entirely different, but not random.

And mine again:

What should I with Mr. Bones? Is he worth finishing?

Tribute to Rothko...an experiment.

2010-10-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

I've decided in my life to go straight into investigating anything I don't understand. In the past, I sort of adhered my opinions to some sort of larger entity thinking that if so many people felt a certain way about something, it must be true. Well, over the years I've realized this is not smart, nor is it healthy. It means I don't trust my own opinions. I'm done with all that.

While this applies to many areas in my life, Art is an easily applicable example. Photo-realism used to allure me. I loved the idea that people could reproduce things so closely to reality.

With all this exposure to ideas about modern art and different movements, I decided I had to pick an artist whose work DOESN'T move me, and absorb myself into it.

I think I might have mentioned Rothko before. (click on his name if you want more info)

I bought a book about him, and thumbed through what seemed like endless pages of dry-brushed color blocks that simply don't inspire me. Except one...

This is called Saffron. What struck me was the light tat comes from between the blocks of red orange. It's like the end of a cloudy day when the sun sets and breaks through the grey and makes that blinding stripe across the horizon.

I asked my professor how he did it and we discussed it a bit. After this I started looking at all his pieces differently. I need to see them in person. I want to see Saffron in person...

So, I tried to make my own. (respectfully, of course.)

It took the better part of this morning when I probably should have been cleaning up this house. It was worth it. This very simple painting isn't simple. There are so many things pushing and pulling - I noticed it as soon as I began to layer the orange over the base of yellow. Here it was, mid-way:

And here it is after adding the piece de resistance....the super-muted violet stripe over the center yellow:

Indoors:

Outdoors:

I was marginally successful. The color across the top of the painting gave me a lot of trouble. I used acrylics, and of course the original is oil. I'm sure it's much more brilliant. I am happy I gave it a try, though.

Painting class #9...part one

2010-10-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

Maybe when other people take classes, they just take them, do the work continue their lives. I guess I'm different. I take these classes so seriously!! I feel like I have to. I'm not a kid, this is what I want to do. This is what I should have done when I went to college the first time- I can't even imagine living on campus with 100% of my time devoted to my classes. I had no idea what i was throwing away.

That was music, though...and I had some other things going on with my brain (and, lets be honest, I was very immature).

I appreciate my classes so much and since I threw away my last educational experience, I am trying to put everything I've got into this.

I keep saying- "I need this info NOW." It's true- I mean to apply what I learn right now. Even today as I'm trying to develop a curriculm of my own for teaching lessons up here on the Divide (which is the community where I live). I am using everything I learn RIGHT NOW. Which makes me wonder how much effort I should put in to get an actual degree. I wont rush to finish off my general ed, at least.

We need money. Matts job has excellent benefits, but the salary leaves us close to empty each month. We were able to go to Disneyland thanks to my selling some paintings and Matt selling off some pricey items we don't use anymore. But, we still need a car. Two cars, actually. I've got to get a job.

The only job I want is to teach drawing and painting, and I think there might be a good chance it could work. We have an enormous amount of homeschoolers up here who need instruction. We also have schools with no more actual art classes at the elementary level. I'd love to work one on one with kids.

I've been writing up lessons...I hope I know what I'm doing!

Ok, anyway....back to class. I am LOVING this new project. Although, I take it all so serious I think my classmates think I'm weird. They're right- I guess I am weird. Ask anyone who knows me!

The project is to choose from a list of titles, and then represent that title in a non-representational painting. (does that make sense?) (representational=recognizable objects and form, non-representational=completely abstract)

My entire life has been a series of forced artistic attempts. I think. Everything I do pushes to hard on the viewer- it's my nature to overexpose the everyone around me to my own inner workings. The same is true in my paintings. I come right out and say "this one is about the objectification of women"...in the most obvious and unsuccessful way. I want to communicate in a way that allows more interpretation, more contemplation. No more visual sluttiness.

Here's some of my sketches and paint-sketches. I'm trying to be more loose with the brush. I want more movement. I can't move away from the rainbow-look, though. We are learning a lot about color theory and harmonies and such...I have a hard time picking a simple triad or tetrad---for me, if there's red, there must be green. But also yellow..and so...purple, blue....and a stitch of orange. And...there we go- every color makes it's way in eventually. I can't help it. Making I'll lose this, too...eventually? I'm not ready for that, yet.

This is my favorite of the pile...

Once I get painting, I'll let you in on the title.

Painting class #8

2010-10-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday we embarked on our last painting of the 3 part project. I was pretty happy with what I came up with.

Here's the concept I came up with:

The resulting painting, almost done:

I am going to make the far-ground a bit more dimensional and perhaps add more texture to the foreground.

Here's all the three together:

The second painting needs work. I have no idea how to improve it until I painted the third piece. Now I have some ideas and bit of inspiration to tie the 3 together and maybe even save the weak one from being...well, weak.

Figure drawing catch-up post!

2010-10-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

No good excuse for not posting lately- just had my nose in some books. I've been thoroughly enjoying fall weather complete with a fire in the wood stove, a blanket over my legs and books all over the place.

In the past week or so, I've done some good things in Figure Drawing, I think. I'm definitely more confident in tackling these drawing without getting overwhelmed.

Last week I cranked out this pose and managed to get the models face straight for the first time:

We've be experimenting with colored pencils in our gestures:

And I've been fumbling with them in longer poses. I lost some form here because I was so distracted by the fun of using the colors:

Last nights last pose- 40 minutes. It was a extremely foreshortened pose and I almost moved to change my view. I'm glad I didn't, because I think this is successful overall:

Thrifting again

2010-10-12T13:09:00.001-07:00

I just knew I had to go. Maybe I'm psychic...but just when it comes to thrift stores. I had to get to the Salvation Army in Auburn today- I had to or I was going to be cranky. I knew I'd miss something.

I would have missed this beauty:

It's the very sort of thing I love to stumble upon, especially at under $5. I'd have to say its quite old- possible 1940's or the early 50's. It's in IMPECCABLE shape. And the weirdest thing- it fits me. Even in the waist (usually everything's too small on my unfortunately thick waist).

Hard to photograph, at least hard for me, though. Check out these pockets!! Gorgeous. They really don't make garments like this anymore.

Also...I got these:

Which are dead-ringers for some boots I tried on last weekend that were $200. I scored these for $1.94. They fit perfect and I was surprised to realize that are not leather. They really, really look like leather in real life. They are rubber rain boots!! So weird!! But, they are floppy and squishy on the inside. Awesome for slushy mountain days!!!

I got a long sleeved, long striped knit dress by The Territory Ahead as well, but it's not really that cool- I do know I will wear it to death, though. Striped dresses and me have a passionate history.

Scarlet scored a porcelain tea set. We had some Earl Grey and Tabouli together on the floor. I guess I have to sweep now.:)

What am I reading, you ask?

2010-10-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

Well, nobody asked, but I will tell you anyway. Thats the nice thing about captive audiences.

In my research phase for my never ending novel, I've stumbled upon some really interesting books that have my brain buzzing.

The first of which is Extraordinary Knowing. For the record0 you would not find this book in the Metaphysical or New Age sections- this is not like that. This is probably the best book I've found about psychic phenomena from a skeptics point of view. It begs the question- why not? What is the big problem? Intuitive's from all over the world suffer stigma for their astounding talents. Many people live their whole lives never saying a word. It's certainly more popular to decry anyone who claims to be pre-cognitive or empathic than to explore how and why they are that way. Religion labels these people as either possessed or witches. Scientists label them crook or idiots. People are so afraid. Libby Mayer doesn't simply debunk these abilities, she opens up a whole new field of study.

Another one, that I'm simply tearing through right now is The Center Cannot Hold by Elyn Saks. This is a memoir of Elyns struggle with madness. She is amazingly intelligent, and to see her go through this is fascinating. She has this incredible will to push on through debilitating mental illness, even while she studies at Oxford, Yale and, well....I haven't read enough yet to know where she goes next. I think about my own struggle with depression through college and feel quite ashamed to see her struggle with Schizophrenia and still excel in her work.

Ah...my brain is cranking through words. I only wish I could read faster....theres so much more to consume!

Figure drawing homework- Transferred and Inked Gestures

2010-10-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

Our assignment was to choose a few of our gestures from class, trace and transfer them, then use ink in the method of our choice to flesh them out.

I had a lot of fun doing it- I loved using the washes.

Painting class #7

2010-10-08T15:10:00.001-07:00

I'm learning so much- my brain is buzzing. BUZZING, I tell you.

An now I will bore you with the details of that statement.

I told you in past posts that we have been looking at books on abstract and expressionist painters. Well now, it's fueled an obsession to gather as many books and websites about these artists as possible. My Amazon cart is out of control. Anyone wanna give me $200 to buy art books? :) (I didn't think so...)

We talked about one yesterday who REALLY captured my attention- Max Beckmann. Here's one example of some of his work:

We are talking about how artists study other artists work and draw on that study to start compositions of their own. Now, judging by my compositions from yesterday- I need to study more!!

It's more of the problem that I don't know what my voice is yet. I am still trying to learn how to paint in general and can't wait until I can see myself come out in something truly original. I know it's still a long ways away.

We had to do three paint-sketches of possible compositions. We are abstracting our still life paintings from the previous week. At least- partially, until next week when we go completely non-representative.

And heres what happened on the canvas (or, in my case...big piece of masonite):

Ugh. So...it's following the assignment. It's just...saying nothing. I feel nothing. I am beginning to hate bananas. *deep Breath*

Here's how I ended class:

I'm learning. It doesn't have to be awesome. It's a process. This isn't who I am....it's part of who I'm going to be.

On a side note, I have this obsession with taking pictures of my palette. I love what happened on there....can I get this on my canvas?

Figure Drawing Class #10

2010-10-06T08:25:00.000-07:00

New model tonight! I thought it would be easier to draw a woman but I was wrong. The model was excellent- she has a lot of experience and her confidence really showed in her strong poses. Plus, she was just a lot of fun.

I need to find out how to photograph pencil drawings in a more effective fashion. The first two are shorter drawings, and the last one is a 35 minute pose.

I am learning to fight the urge to add too much detail right away. "Think of them as a treat--dessert for when you get the whole thing pulled together." It's a struggle, because I want those pieces in there, but I need to build values and form first before drawing in the darkest lines and details.

I'm behind on homework. I missed 2 classes when I went to Disneyland and one last week when I went to see the Black Keys at the Fox in Oakland. (which by the way was AWESOME)

I have to transfer a few of my gestures from last week and then show values with ink either by cross-hatching or using washes or stippling. By tonight.

Also, I'm buried in this messy house. I haven't a clue when I can get it done unless I shirk the homework- which I really can't. Night classes twice a week didn't seem like such a big deal, but, it's taking a toll.

Painting class #6

2010-10-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

We critiqued our still lives that we have been working on the last few weeks. I snuck a pictures of everyone's pictures. Some very distinct styles!!! I'm enjoying this class and learning a lot about the process of painting. More than just form and color, I'm learning and being challenged beyond the basics.

Turns out, none of these are done. I need to sharpen up the red cushion in the foreground of my painting as well as a few other minor things. Then we will move on to the next phase of the project.

I cannot wait to start my abstraction of this piece. I mean, I have no clue what to do, but I am looking for ward to the process.

Part of lasts weeks homework was to research the evolution of artists work over their lifetimes from realism to abstract. I looked into Mark Rothko, a modern American painter who's work emphasized color, balance and composition- all things I need work on for sure. I sort of fell in love with some of his pieces, and want to look further into what makes them so compelling. Some of his most famous work is among that which I would have previously dismissed as boring, or pointless. But, now, seeing the progression and having a broader understanding of art in general, I find them fascinating. And a total technical mystery.

Other painters I'm interested in right now are Arshille Gorky, Wassily Kandinsky and Diego Rivera.

Figure Drawing #9

2010-09-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

I feel so disconnected with this class- I missed 2 classes last week and will miss one tomorrow night.

Last night was good- we did two extended poses and I enjoyed doing it. I need to work on hands...and faces.

I don't need to work on genitals. I know it looks like I spent a lot of time on them- but they ARE darker than the rest of the model and I was struggling to get the face right.

Painting class #5

2010-09-24T08:58:00.000-07:00

What a week! We spent Sunday through Wednesday in Disneyland, and had the perfect trip we hoped for. The kids are the PERFECT ages for Disney- no more diapers, no strollers,but yet young enough for it all to be magic, still. They got autograph books and hunted down characters, traded Disney pins and looked for hidden Mickeys. I love these little geeks we're raising!!

Yesterday I was so tired and honestly feeling pretty un-motivated to paint for 5 hours. The previous week, I was so cranky and stressed about going on vacation, I could hardly mix my colors or make anything look right.

After a huge cup of coffee, I found myself getting into this painting, FINALLY!!! Its not done, but I am finally getting into the groove of painting again.

The pillow needs work, as well as the drapery behind the duct. The duct itself needs some more work to make it less flat. The purple drapery needs to be filled in and then I think I will be done.

The next phase of this project will be to make another painting based on this one, but semi-abstract.

I haven't a clue what to do! But, I'm excited to try.

Painting class #4

2010-09-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

This was a good one- we critiqued the paintings we'd done last week that featured the paper lanterns. Usually critiques take quite a bit of class time, but with only 6 in this class, it makes it go rather quickly. The amount of feedback we get is awesome.

We are embarking on a project consisting of threes stages: realism, semi-abstraction and finally, abstraction. I'm stoked.

I bought boards to paint on at Home Depot. They were cut from on 4' by 8' piece of tempered MDF. I probably should take a math course and learn to deal with numbers- I ended up with some fairly severe rectangles. I'm a dork.

Oh well, a good compositional challenge. Composition is something mysterious to me- it sort of feels like numbers and math when I think about it. I need to learn it- it's just that I fear I'll never understand all the basics of placement and proportions. Maybe I will. I don't know.

Anyway...

Laying this thing out was rough- I needed to keep it all very vertical due to my very long and narrow board. This meant I had to position myself on the side of the still life. I think (I hope) this will give me an opportunity to display depth.

Here's the still life from my angle- and this is not good photography:

Here's what I have so far:

It looks like a wretched mess right now. I'm taking the skull out- it's just not right for this painting. It would look forced, and from this angle, it's just not a strong form. I need to believe I can do this- but I was really struggling while painting. I feel like I can't snap into the painting.

I am pretty excited about going to Disneyland this weekend though- and I had cramps. And this week was weird- my brain was tremendously...scattered? Fogged? Discombobulated? (is that a word? It doesn't really matter...it fits.) My mind is full of disjointed thoughts, incomplete sentences, unexplainable opinions and random acts of word-invention. Its amazing people put up with me.

I *think* I'll be able to focus more next week- after our vacation.

I'm in an extremely creative place right now, which is always good- lots of ideas. I am thinking a lot about what it is I want to draw and paint. I'm getting great material for my writing through research. All good things.

The problem is- when this happens my life turns to mush. I forget to call people, my kids have ratty hair, there's no socks, and the cooking suffers. My husband starts getting frustrated with me, my friends probably start questioning my sanity (a worthy concern) and my kids get out of control.

Usually, though, I follow these times with periods of focus, where I can apply and arrange the information properly.

Usually.

Sometimes.

:)

Acrylics Class Exhibition

2010-09-17T12:11:00.002-07:00

Last night I stayed after Painting Class for a show our Acrylics class from last semester put up in the Library at El Dorado Center. It was great to see all these pieces together and being appreciated by students and faculty!!

There really were some great paintings. I took a few shots of the pieces that were hung:

You will recognize a few different projects- the fruit, the acrylics-as-watercolor, the abstract featured the ceramic face, and the chair project (one realistic, one abstracted).

I love all the chair paintings- they are my favorite!!

Figure Drawing Class #8

2010-09-17T12:11:00.001-07:00

I don't really have any pictures, as there really wasn't much to photograph.

Tonight we sketched landscapes to get ideas for fargrounds on future pictures. I'm not so sure how good I am at drawing grand landscapes. At least not in Folsom. Tract houses and power lines and parking lots? I was a bit un-inspired, but worked hard regardless.

Then we made thumbnail sketches of different figurative compositions.

:) Thats it! Hopefully I'll have more visual stuff from next weeks class.

Painting homework

2010-09-15T15:36:00.000-07:00

Oh, this painting...sometimes things just don't start well. (the actual painting is brighter- the flash washed this out quite a bit)

This one is tough- at least I'm struggling with it. The colors are an interesting mix of saturated and muted. The large red lantern dominates, but I cant get it to do that. It's a good challenge for me.

I worked on it a bit this morning- I should have done some this weekend, but time got away from me.

I put in a bit of background and tried to give more dimension to the green cloth.

I think the lemons need work, for sure. The duct needs...something- I'm not sure yet. The lantern needs texture and some color tweaking. And I need to decide whether or not the orange in the bottom right corner is going to live there or not.

Figure Drawing Class #6

2010-09-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

Here's last nights 20 minute pose:

Figure drawing homework- Contour Collage

2010-09-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure this is actual collage. The assignment was to trace some of our blind contour drawings, and some of our gestures if we want. Then we flipped the tracing paper over and transfer it on to new paper to put together a composition using any drawing medium we want.

Tracing sheets:

Inked and ready to go:

A few colors in:

Finished. I think.:

This was actually fun. I could color this for the rest of my life or just stop now with my sanity in tact. There are some elements I would undo if I could, but I'm not going to worry about that right now.

I like the figure elements in this and how it forced me to de-construct my own ideas of the figure. I tried to give large areas some value changes that make the mind think of more figures. (does that make any sense? I'm in a hurry!!)

Figure Drawing #5

2010-09-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

Frustration seems to be the name of the game this week.

Apparently I don't understand blind contour drawing. Or so I'm told.

I'm here to learn, though.

I need to relax more when I draw, I suppose...

Painting Class #3

2010-09-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a long, tired day. Part of the tired was my own fault for having gone to bed late the night before. A lot of it, though, is me adjusting to getting up, getting the kids ready, going to preschool and leaving from preschool for my 5 hour class. Plus, we took my mom out to dinner for her birthday- which was fun, but I passed out when I got home. I barely got my makeup off before I lost consciousness!

Ok...painting...

Our class is quite small- only 5 of us yesterday. I think its fantastic! We have motivated, serious people in there and the environment is great.

After several short paintings as a warm up, we embarked on this still life:

It was not easy for me. I am getting a good kick in the pants after a summer of producing what I consider successful paintings. It's good for me to feel this way. I nearly chewed my own lips off while painting. Nothing seemed to pull together. I couldn't get the forms to relate, and the perspective is...sort of not-good. (very technical language, here.)

Here's what I ended up with:

Yes, I will do more as per my reference photo. I hope I can get it to pop. I hope I can pull it together. I hope.

Homework, homework...

2010-09-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

This week is short, since Monday was Labor day. Tonight is Figure Drawing and tommorow is Painting. It all kind of snuck up on me!! So, guess who's been scrambling today?

I churned out a couple of paintings...some stronger than others!

(but mostly just mediocre)

This is the one thing I think was successful:

Also, I wrote up a short paper on an art movement of my choice. I chose Surrealism- something I really do love. It was fun reading a bit more about it.

Here's some of the work of my favorite contemporary painters, Vladimir Kush:

I think of him as surrealist, but then I just read that he considers himself a Metaphorical Realist. I get it...thats true. Oh well...I like it, thats all I'm saying.

One more post to squeeze in...

2010-09-03T13:44:00.000-07:00

I've been going to the library again. I didn't go for a long time just because I was busy and pre-occupied and...I don't know, I just didn't.

Since I don't have a class on Wed. mornings, I've been going to story time. While Scarlets listening, I wander around, picking up books until my bag is full.

Last Wednesday, I was looking and talking to the librarian. She came up and pulled a few books off the shelf. One was The Four Agreements. Whats so weird is, that very morning I was on NPR's website and had read about this book. I tend to feel like I'm meant to read it, though I've seen it hundreds of times. I am not drawn to self-help books or stuff like this- but when a librarian pulls it off a shelf and puts it in your bag for you without asking-- you read it. It's on your plan. What am I supposed to get out of this book?

I've been doing so much writing research lately! I know I've already said that. I really love doing it. It's kind of weird trying to find information about schizophrenia, mental institutions and bullet trajectory. I like it, though. Its hard information- some very unpleasant things to ponder. But like pencil drawing- there must be dark for the light to be bold enough. This story lacked dimension, reality and grit. I'm trying to get that now.

Ah the pursuit of wisdom...

Painting Class #2

2010-09-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

Whenever I get all confident and puffed up, I inevitably get knocked down a level. It's good for me.

I was feeling really, really good about getting into this painting class. I was feeling REALLY good after last monday's Figure Drawing class.

So, it was completely appropriate for me to produce something like this in a 10 minute painting exercise:

I guess I should have painted more this summer. I was making stupid mistakes. It's all good, though. I need this. Like I said in my last post. I need to struggle- I need to do a lot of really awful paintings and drawings. I need criticism. I need to make huge mistakes and be told how to deal with them by someone with experience.

So, it was good.

We also watched a video on 20th Century Art which I found fascinating. I haven't taken ANY Art History, and really know nothing about any of it. I ate it up. We have an assignment to pick one of the movements mentioned in the video and write a bit about it. I'm going to talk about Surrealism, as it completely enthralls me. A close second was a section of the video about feminist art. I don't respond much to the particular art in the video, but I do appreciate seeing women used in art in a way that is NOT idealized or objectified.

Here's the last painting I did yesterday. It's a bit of a muddy mess, but, it's work. I learn every time I pick up a brush.

Figure Drawing Class #4

2010-09-03T13:12:00.000-07:00

No model tonight- just a pile of cotton twill on the tables in front of us to render.

We were given a good amount of time for this, and though it may sound simple, it is NOT.

It's easy to lose track of where you are in the drawing, and the values can be particularly tricky.

My biggest problem in this case was smudging, lack of contrast, and in the end- over-drawing.

It's ok, though....practice, practice, practice. My new mantra is "I'm out to struggle." Nothing worthwhile is easy.

Figure Drawing class #3

2010-08-31T08:32:00.000-07:00

Last night was our first night drawing with a model.

We warmed up first doing a few gestures of our professor until the model arrived. I quickly remembered how much I love gesture drawing!!

Once the model was in place, we started with several one minute poses, then progressed in 5 minutes focusing on the torso sometimes, and sometimes just the legs and feet.

One minute gesture:

Five minute:

Then at the end we did a 20 minute pose of the model in a chair. This was the hardest thing for me- I have a love/hate thing with chairs. This was the only one where I struggled with the proportions. This was my least successful drawing of the evening.

I look forward to more of this-- so good for me!!

Figure Drawing Homework

2010-08-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

This is the first assignment for my Figure Drawing class at Folsom Lake College. We had to draw a human-sized skeleton and label the bones from a list she gave us.

At first, it was a bit daunting to have to know all the places all the bones connected. It wasn't clear in some places. I draw it human-size, but, I traced Violet (who's six..and a bit skeletal herself!!), making this a more managable size.

Here's the initial drawing:

I taped the paper on our sliding glass door to draw.

After I was satisfied with the pencil drawing, I colored the bones with colored pencils.

I had to be careful to check and cross-check that I had them right. Some illustrations are different than others- which was frustrating.

Next, I went over it with pen...hatching and cross hatching for a very long time.

And I JUST finished...with about an hour before I need to leave for class. Phew!!

Tonight we have our first live model!! I am positively GIDDY!!!

When preference and trend come together.

2010-08-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

I had to laugh today when I opened my email and saw what Who What Wear had on their site. I've been addicted to denim shirts since I was in Junior high. I like denim in all manifestations with the exception of denim shoes...I can't do that. I have several denim or denim-ish dresses and shirts. This "trend" is easy as pie for me. I love how they show you how to use a denim shirt as though you can't just put it on with absolutely everything.

Seriously- leggings and denim shirt. Jeans and denim shirt. Dress with denim shirt over it. Olive green chinos with denim shirt. Denim shirt over little black dress. It's easy.

The only thing I would say is NOT easy it finding a denim shirt that doesn't swallow you up and look dumpy. I have a nice one (thats actually chambray) from the Gap similar to this. I also just picked up a nice heavy one by Ralph Lauren at the thrift store for $2.75.

I guess it makes me sound old to say things like this, and I guess that's true. It just goes to prove that anything anyone likes to wear will probably eventually become the hot "new" thing.

New music!!

2010-08-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

My new music obsession?

Mountain Man

Seriously, how did this band get started without me in it? I can't believe I'm not the only person who loves this sort of music! I'm so happy...

Back to class...this time, two!!

2010-08-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

It's not like its full time or anything, but it kind of feels like it. I'm taking two whole classes this semester- Figure Drawing, and Intermediate Painting.

Figure Drawing is the class that made me go back to school. I've always, always wanted to take it. I love drawing people and I'm very drawn to figurative paintings. I knew the course had pre-requisites, so, I started from the beginning as I've probably mentioned before.

And here I am, taking it!! I have only been to two classes so far, so, we haven't really bitten into the subject yet. We have our first model on monday!! I can't wait!! I'm not sure about the ethics of posting my work on here...I'd be ok with it, and I'm guessing the model wouldn't model if they cared about their likenesses being shared? Hmmm...

The other class is Painting, or as I'm calling it- Intermediate painting. It's not beginning painting- it advanced. I don't have the pre-req. for it, but I'm challenging it. I really feel like it'll be a great class for me, especially after reading today's syllabus. It looks like we'll be doing a lot of abstract work, which is something I really want to challenge myself in.

I need a voice!! You have no idea how many way this can be translated in my life. Of course right now I'm referring to artistic expression. I can paint you. I can paint a tree. Apparently I can paint dogs. But in an empty room, with a head full of ideas? Nothing materializes in front of me. I haven't a clue what to paint.

I know there are ideas I'd love to express, themes and images that inspire me- but, I don't feel I have what it takes to get it on the canvas yet. This is the direction I'm hoping to go.

I need to draw more- LOTS more. I need to make it a daily discipline. I think I will start posting my daily stuff- perhaps not a daily post, but photos of the daily drawing I do. This will be tough for me, but I see the value in it.

I've been doing a lot of research for my novel, again. (I can hear the groans of the audience). I know, I know...the never ending novel I think I'm writing...

National Novel Writing Month will be here before we know it and guess what? I'm NOT going to write the same book for the 4th time. I'm going to start from scratch. No ideas...just crazy typing and complete raw ideas.

In the mean time, I'm in love with research. Its giving solid legs to some of the themes of my novel, and its fleshing out the characters. I thought I had all this stuff, and now I realize I only had a rough sketch- a gesture drawing of these people and this story.

What else...

I've been doing a lot of singing with Hickory Wind this summer. I am really enjoying the music! And singing seems to be part of me I can't ignore. I'm constantly surprised when people say I sound good. Do you hear that, family and friends? SOME people don't consider it torture when I sing!! (of course, they don't have to hear it on the phone, in the car or randomly at the mall or something...) I love that microphone.

I bought Converse sneakers- a strange thing for me to do because I tend to turn my nose up at sneaker-wearers. I'm kind of digging them- I really just broke one of my sandals and I can't really wear heels to school and it's not boot-time yet

Back to class, back to blogging---out of the lazy fog of summer. Fall is much, much more exciting!!

Oy.

2010-05-04T13:13:00.000-07:00

I feel a bit burnt out.

I am feeling freaked out about keeping up the pace with my painting with the semester ending, and I have to deal with challenging the pre-requistite on the class I want to take in the fall. I'm nervous about that.

I didn't get the scholarship I tried for. It's fine- it was a bit of a long-shot, I guess. I had to try, right? And now my job is to NOT get discouraged about something little like this get me down and shut of my ambitions. (which I'm quite prone to)

So, I press on.

Yesterdays class was mostly comprised of working on our abstracts of the the paintings we did last week. We also turned in our end-of-semester portfolios. I'm getting excited about the painting I'm doing now- especially since its beginning to take shape. I've learned a lot about abstract painting. I thought you just kind of did whatever you want- and then I wondered why no one likes my abstract stuff. My professor said that the most compelling art is the most subjective. Pieces that try to tell a story tend to be less effective. Keep it free- go towards a meaning and story of your own, but, dont pigeon hole the painting. For example, in my painting, I put a woman struggling to hold on to a chair thats on top of a mountain of eggs. She said this: "Take the figure out- for two reasons. One- you don't know how to paint a figure yet. And two, I think the same idea can be portrayed without her. Let the viewer feel it- don't over-describe."

I was blown away. A little stung by the comment about painting figures- but from this professor, I know she means I'm just not ready. And she was right- I painted the woman out and the painting feels less forced. The perspective is more open, and it forced me to have to use other elements to portray the feelings.

Fascinating!! It pays to have someone in your life who is wise!!!

In other news...I'm going to start my re-write again. I know, I know...I'm crazy. I need to write this book. It's good for me to write. Without writing, I tend to grow in discontent with my own life, which is completely ridiculous. I have everything someone could want....but my mind wanders. When I don't write, I tend to look around and get down on myself about missing out on things. I'm a freak. I *need* imaginary friends so I don't destroy my real life.

I'm weird.

Make up post!!!

2010-04-30T20:17:00.000-07:00

Yikes. I got PRET-ty busy there for a while. I had projects due, I got sick, I was out a lot...yada, yada, yada. I'm a lame blogger, I guess.

Wait, no I'm not! I'm awesome. (that was convincing, right?)

So...where was I? Working on my abstract, right? Well...I finished it. It's ok...I think its marginally successful: (its on the right, by the way....the pears are old)

Our next project was to set up a still life at home of a chair, with fabric draping and 3 or more round or oval objects. This is how it started for me:

I used the Grisaille technique. Next I laid in some colors:

Then the back ground:

Then the details:

Overall I really like this painting. It's not 100% done, but I am happy with it. I have gained so much more confidence in diving into a painting. This took me about 5 hours total.

Now I'm working on an abstract of the chair painting--I'll show you when I'm further along.

Portfolios are due Monday! Ack!! I have to gather all my stuff and make sure it's all finished and ready for scrutiny!

I should mention---I totally blew off Script Frenzy. Too much going on...and I just didn't have a clear vision for a screenplay this time...even if it was Blood Freckles all over again!!

Oh, and as an ode to my immaturity:

May is a good month. *sigh*

Acrylics class #20

2010-04-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

So, my professor set up this awesome still life today. It was supposed to be a jumping off point for us to run with.

The idea is to find inspiration from the object and find a unique way of representing them. I knew immediatly what I'd do. I was lucky to be on the side with the mans' face. The other side had some spheres, a vase, a skull and a plant.

Here's the start of mine:

I'm REALLY struggling with the proportions on the face- something I really want to get good at.

SO, I stuck the dudes head on one of the pipes. I like it. I can't wait to finish it.

Acrylics class #19

2010-04-14T14:53:00.000-07:00

Watercolors....transitioning into abstract!! Fascinating!!

Today's project entailed painting the same kind of tulip still life with a twist. We had to look at the color wheel- any color you see in the still life must be painting in it's opposite on the wheel.

Seems easy enough, right?

Here's the still life:

Well, yeah..sure. I mean yellow's opposite is blue-violet. Cool. Yellow-greens opposite is some of ted-violet. But all the variations thereof...YIKES.

I muddled through it and got favorable results despite the challenge:

I dig it.

Monday we are to bring a gesso-ed board and gel mediums for some more abstract work!!! I'm ridiculously excited.

In other news, I indeed applied for that scholarship. I gathered my portfolio, got my two letters of recommendation, wrote the essay, got my transcript, and VOILA! I've actually taken a step in the direction of an intentional person trying for a real goal. I'm a freaking art major. Weird.

Acrylics class #18

2010-04-13T16:09:00.000-07:00

More water colors. I was just beginning to like them, but then, this time, I was REALLY frustrated with them. Nothing seemed to dry and everything I applied ran together.

Here's the results of what I did in class:

I still need to finish these.

I am very excited though....she menetioned changing gears a bit in the next few classes. We are heading towards....(drum roll)...abstraction! I'm very excited about this! I like abstract work, but when I try to do it myself, it looks...well....lame.

She said that new artists often feel this way about abstract work. She said there indeed IS a method to it and training helps the quality of the work. I'm stoked.

Jumping through hoops

2010-04-09T08:29:00.000-07:00

I was so overwhlemed a couple days ago. I'm such a light-weight.

But now, I have things moving into place for this scholarship-thing. I've got 1 recommendation letter done and on it's way to me. I'm meeting my professor in a couple hours to go through my digital portfolio- she's going to help me decide what to give the Scholarship comittee. I'm so excited to see what she thinks of all my stuff together- I put some stuff in there that I've done at home. I'm nervous to hear what she thinks.

Matt took an hour or so last night and photographed my better works and I edited them and put them on CD.

I will take my transcript request form to Folsom Lake College today.

(breathe....)

It's moving along. Because I can do this. I am a grown up. I am an artist. This is just the first time I'll be doing this- the rest of my life will be spent selling myself and my work if this is what I want to be. I should get used to it- what if I actually finish this book? I'll have to do the same thing with the manuscript. I need to grow some balls.

My term paper is due Monday- and I still haven't gone to a gallery. I'm very, very excited, though- my friends and I are going to the Second Saturday Art Walk in downtown Sacramento tomorrow night. I will get to see the kind of stuff I dream of doing, and there will be LOTS of it!! The hardest part will be making up my mind on which piece to write about.

Here's a couple of the better images we took last night of my work:

Acrylics class #17.

2010-04-08T13:21:00.000-07:00

I finally have a minute to blog about yesterdays class.

I thought I hated watercolor, but I really enjoyed yesterday.

Here's the still life:

It was so pretty!!

Here's my work.

My crazy palette!

My homework is to do 2 watercolors of fruit or flowers. I guess I'll do fruit, since, there are no flowers here right now!! The snow is gone, finally, as of today- so thats a start at least.

I guess I have to grow up now.

2010-04-07T15:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm in over my head.

I mean...I'm not. But I feel like I am.

By nature, I'm pretty lazy. I'm pretty scared to challenge anyone or anything. I'm not a fighter. I don't want to put myself out there.

This is why I failed in college. I gave up when the time came to take on something hard. I wasn't being handed any favors and I was going to have to work real hard to keep progressing. I'd have to take some tough criticism and be willing to fail in front of a lot of people. But I wasn't...so I left.

Fast forward to now...I'm in this class, and the Fall catalog came out for the next semester. I only have a few options for what I can take in September. With the kids and preschool and stuff, I have only a narrow window of time that I can take a class. I can't commute to the city, I'm limited to the Folsom campus or the El Dorado Center. And they have limited classes.

My first choice is Figure drawing, but it's in Folsom, 2 nights a week. And it overlaps with Matt's schedule.

My next choice is Intermediate Painting. The funny thing is, it's with the SAME professor I've been having. I LOVE her, but I'm kind of embarassed to take another one of her classes.

Also, the class has a pre-requisite that I don't have. I assumed I could ask the professor and see if she could let me in- but she can't. She suggests I challenge the pre-requisite. I have to get a form, and submit my portfolio to the Board (of something...i'm not sure...) and get them to let me take it. This makes me nervous as hell. I'll do it, though. Because I am an adult.

Right?

I must do this before my appointment with my counselor before April 22nd.

Also, I'm applying for a scholarship. This means I have to photograph 6 works, write an essay about how I will contribute to the art world and obtain 2 letters of recomendation from people who are not related to me. The deadline is April 15th.

Also, I am supposed to submit 2 pieces to the student show- deadline is April 18th.

Yikes.

My term paper is also due this monday. I have to get to a gallery, find an exposition, critique a painting in 2000 words or less.

I need to keep my brain on.

I'm also doing Script Frenzy.

I'm not telling you what I'm doing because its too embarrassing.

Which means...you know what I'm doing. I'm doing what I said I shouldn't do because it would be stupid.

Shut up. I'm a dork.

And I guess I have to be an adult about this. This is my chance to put myself out there, takes some risks and live life for real.

Acrylics class #16

2010-04-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

Finally back to class after spring break. (which felt more like Winter Break...)

Yesterday we got a lesson in watercolors. Well- not watercolors, but using acrylics as watercolor. We went over the basics of soaking paper, taping it down and all the prep. Then she basically just let us play.

For me, the beauty of watercolor is the accidents that can happen. Of course this is also why I DON'T like watercolor. Most of my playing was watching the way the paint bled on the paper. I find that very beautiful.

Heres one of the sheets I did- I like the center of this. I'm not sure how much I'll do watercolor on my own, but it's good for me to try. Tomorrow we're going to do a still life in watercolor. I'm nervous, but, it'll be good.

Also, our professor taught us about using boards to paint on as well as how to brace them and hang them. This was invaluable. I bought 2 sheets of heavy MDF at Home Depot. This was surprisingly cheap! I spent some time covering one of the boards in Gesso with the intent to paint something on it. I'm not sure what. Some people on the painting forum I belong to suggest that if I'm interested in painting people, I should get a mirror and start with myself.

I tried to paint my kids, but, I just can't get it right. I tried to paint it from a photo, though. Maybe I need to paint live objects? Like myself? Or try to get one of my kids to sit for me?

Script Frenzy.

2010-03-31T21:35:00.000-07:00

I can't write Blood Freckles as a Script. It'd be the 2nd time.

I must think of something else to do for this year's Script Frenzy. 100 pages of screenplay in 30 days.

I like my other ideas, but I'm still obsessed with my novel. Crap. I'm losing my mind.

To add insult to injury, the enormous population of ants that share our home with us crossed the line tonight. We have a ridiculously cool coffee maker. It costs more than your life. (if your life is worth $299 at Williams Sonoma...)

It has a carafe that will hold your coffee hot and steamy for an entire day. It is my love...my soul.

And tonight...the ants found a way to get into that carafe and die in my $13.50 a pound Peets coffee that I brewed earlier today.

All that is holy and steamy and earthy is now corrupted with the bodies of these evil beings.

And now I have to drink tea. Coffee's weaker, self-righteous cousin.

(this is a tad dramatic, I know, but I'm really avoiding cleaning the kitchen and putting this stuff down seems to be a noble distraction.)

I guess this Script is going to literally be page by page- I haven't a clue where to start or where its going to go. It will be good for me. Like lifting weights. Or eating leafy greens.

Maybe I'll call the story- "hefty kale"

I swear I haven't been drinking.

My other, other love.

2010-03-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

Singing.

Ah....such bittersweet stuff for me. Singing holds a mystique for me that painting and writing do not. It's 50 times the anxiety. It's 50 times the enjoyment, though- when I succeed.

I've failed to succeed in it many times. Whether that refers to solo's I sang in choir that frequently botched or my failed college experience as a voice major- it all cuts me. I love, love to sing. I annoy the crap out of everyone close to me because I can't stop. If I wrote or draw as much as I sang, I'd be awesome.

I've had to face the facts, though. My voice is good, but not particularly wonderful or magnetic to anyone. I can sing a mean harmony. And I love to sing along with someone else. I am so glad to have the opportunity to sing with some friends in their band. Did I talk about this already? If so, forgive me. You'll hear it again.

The band is called Hickory Wind and they are an Emmylou Harris cover band. I had no idea what this meant at first, but when I started listening to her music, I realized something- I like country.

I'm sorry, but I guess I do. I love sad, sappy goodness, so how did this genre escape me for so long?

On Friday, I met with Cheryl and we ran through some harmonies to get us tightened up before a performance we have next weekend. I brought a digital recorder so I could listen to the parts later and I'm going to *attempt* to post a couple here. I have no clue if this is possible because I'm a techno-loser.

Yeah...it didn't work. I need some sort of conversion software for it- I'll get it to work someday.

Anyway, there are a lot of gigs I get to be at in the next couple of months. I'm pretty excited.

Acrylics class #14- more Portfolio critique....

2010-03-24T17:12:00.000-07:00

Mine was done monday, but today we finished critiquing the rest of the class' work. (I really wish I'd have had a camera monday...I love seeing everyones work together...) I find this interesting. A lot of the "kids" (read:first time college students) looked bored. I think it's great to hear what my classmates think of their own work, and of course I love to hear what my professor says. She always surprises me with what she points out.

Heres one side of the class:

And the other:

I really dig everyones different approaches to the chromatic grey paintings we did (making greys out of color instead of black and white). Also, notice the different personalities, sensibilities and styles that come out.

A couple notable standouts:

My friend Brian- who's just really good at this stuff. I'm good too- he's just different. He is a lot more free and approaches his work differently. Excellent sense of color. Good stuff.

This is a woman named Karen's work. She said she's a perfectionist and I think it shows!! Very close to photo-realism, she really makes her forms come to life. The painting with the lemons is unbelievable!

The disease of over-thinking

2010-03-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

If you are reading this, then you know I have toiled and thought heavily for days on end about things that are completely fictional. You know how much I analyzed everything I do, everything I think about those things and certainly everything anyone, anywhere says about what I do. I live for scrutiny, and then, the scrutiny of the scrutiny.

This sort of round and round garbage ceases to develop any real skill or success in my life, but instead squelches and retards any growth I might incur.

For example, I had the opportunity to spend the weekend with my extraordinary husband in one of my favorite places, San Francisco. That place is magical for me- it gets my wheels turning. With that turning of wheels, I effectively cornered my poor husband, in a fancy restaurant over candles, about my book. I asked him an hours worth of questions about my plot, the characters, and the structure of writing in general. I was surprised and thrilled that he was generally happy to oblige my craziness. One thing that was particularly helpful and flattering, was his telling me that I'm over-thinking. I'm qualifying my plot and characters too much. I just need to trust my instincts about it.

Then today, in class, we did our portfolio review. We put up a selection of paintings we've done this semester and open them up to critique. It's pretty fun, I think. I love seeing everyone's work, and hearing their thoughts as well as my professors thoughts.

One of the pieces my professor had me show what one of our short paintings from earlier in the semester (pictured above). I thought perhaps she'd taken it out to show something lame about cast shadows, or something. I was surprised to find out she was trying to show how strong my first instincts are. This would be in contrast to the paintings where I toil and fuss and stress over the minutia of reality. She said I need to show the same confidence n my long paintings that I show in my short studies. Very cool.

I should also stop over-thinking things like my accessories. Or what so-an-so said in passing at the bus stop. I should stop thinking that is some sort of sign when my face breaks out, or when I get a funny feeling in my chest. I'm probably not dying, I'm just...over-thinking. Now THAT could kill me. (or at least kill my success.)

Too much to do.

2010-03-19T07:25:00.000-07:00

I hate days like today.

I have to drive into town (about 35 minutes away) and buy a birthday present and a Blessingway gift. Then, I have to haul my booty back, and try to make some sense of whats going on downstairs. (theres a bit of a laundry DISASTER...I'd take pictures...but it's really quite awful)

When the kids come home off the bus, we all get back in the car and one gets shipped to a sleepover and the other two are off to meet another mom at the library so we can follow her to a birthday party.

THEN, after that party, I go home. Eat dinner. Then, there's the Blessingway for my friend that I want to make an appearance at. THEN I come home, and clean up everything and pack for out trip to San Francisco.

I'm really more of a wake-up, stare for a few hours, tweak my animals cages (meaning, cleaning out water containers, arranging food and generally fussy over my chicks and my bunny). I also like to talk on the phone. A lot. I can get stuff done on the phone because I don't get distracted by like...imaginary friends or anything. Sad but true. (I write in my head all day long, which is a kind of schizophrenia)

I guess I'm just whining.

Oh, yeah....I also have art homework!!! I have to do two scales- both starting with Violet-Red, one ending with Blue and the other with Red. It's a warm/cool experiment.

I also need to finish this impasto:

Theres a strong possibility I could completely destroy it if I work on it anymore, but I have to admit...it's NOT done. :(

Obsessed with Joanna Newsom.

2010-03-18T14:12:00.000-07:00

Or at least a few of her songs. Every couple of weeks I find some song that steals my soul and causes me to want to forsake society, and hole up in my house with iTunes blasting and a cup of coffee.

Currently, its' Joanna Newsom's new album, and particularly her song "Go Long". Such wonderful vocal styling. Such intricate harp-playing with a touch of sitar? (correct me if I'm wrong) And it has the sad sweetness I go for in songs, whether it's a sad song or not. It sounds right.

My friends has a broader taste in music and like guys with guitars. (Jeff Buckley, Ryan Adams, Ryan LaMontagne, etc). I can roll with some of it, but I do love female singers. Probably due to the fact that in theory, I myself, am a singer. I have no proof that I sing, but someday I will do something with my voice for real. And singing along with other girl voices is fun for me.

I want to be cool like her. She's from freaking Nevada City! She could totally be my friend!! (yeah right)

Movie review/Script Frenzy inspiration

2010-03-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

Matt can tell if I'm going to like a movie in the first 10 seconds. And its true, I tend to be drawn to independent, character-driven movies. I loved Little Miss Sunshine, Sunshine Cleaning Company, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, etc. If it's conversational and up close, I dig it.

Away We Go was no exception. I kind of have a thing for John Krasinski, but, that's not *necessarily* why we got this on NetFlix. Its the story of a couple who gets pregnant and finds themselves a bit frightened and on the cusp of a total life change, including having the choice to find somewhere to settle down. The story follows them as they travel, visiting people from their lives in search of the environment in which they can raise there baby. What they find, though, is that together, they have what they need, and everyone is ultimately unfit and screwed up in their own way.

I love films with people you feel like you already know. No one in this movie did anything extraordinary. Even the crazy hippy lady is strangely familiar to me. But its the way they're shown that makes them extraordinary.

This makes life rich with story possibility. My idea of taking the women I know, and making characters out of them gets more and more interesting.

New annoying hair, a great class and feedback on my novel!!

2010-03-15T16:46:00.000-07:00

First things first.

I went Saturday to get a real haircut. I LOVED what she did. I even liked how she styled it. But then...I had to do it myself and guess what? I can't!! I look like I've got a mullet. I'm pretty frustrated. Heres what it looked like the day she did it:

Then this morning:

And now it's all flat and gross and not cute. I'm letting it go...I guess I need a round brush, and curling iron to do it like she did. But I don't always want to HAVE to fix my hair. Thats SO not me. I'm more of a shower and then brush it person. Oh well.

We took a look at all the still life paintings we did last week using the Grisaille technique. Very cool. I love seeing everyones all together!!

Today we did an impasto of the same series. It's fun! I was surprised to actually be able to work with the texture. I'm not sure I'll always paint this way- it takes SO much paint and gel medium. My homework is to finish it.

I do love everyone's interpretation of things. Even though its the same subject we're all painting, each person infuses their own personality into it. I got one of my class mates to let me show you hers. She's got a definite style- I can't wait to see her's finished. I'm surrounded by people who paint this way- my friend who sits next to me does brilliant work. I'll have to sneak a picture of his, too. So, here's Tricias:

Ok, lastly. On the National Novel Writing Month forum, there was a thread where you could post your novel so it could be read by some willing person, and I got one!! She just finished it and emailed me a few questions and ideas. I really wanted someone to rip it apart- even tell me I'm a hack. But, she said it was interesting, and there were just some missing facts that confused her. She even liked my cheesy ending. Maybe I'll keep it. Feedback makes me so happy.

ACCCKKKK!!!!

2010-03-10T19:42:00.000-08:00

Script Frenzy!!!

And guess what, Matt has forbidden my to do Blood Freckles as a script again. I think he's mean.

And he also has forbidden me to do anything thats not completely new.

I have a few ideas. They're super weak, but they could work.

One is about old friends going away together and discoverng who they are NOW in relation to where they came from. It'd be inspired by my real weekends away with my girlfriends from high school and nights out with my local girlfriends.

Women in their 30's are funny. We're not kids anymore and we begin to feel it, I think. Insecurities aren't gone just because you're grown up and it's always fascinating to see how we're sort of all the same as we were before. And that clarity can be hard to come by without some bumps.

I don't know....that sounds a bit like mumbo jumbo. But, who cares? No rules!! It's Script Frenzy!!!

I LOVE the T-shirt this year. Super cool. I wonder how many weird looks I'll get this year when I say "Yeah, you just write a 100 page script in a month. No, you don't really win anything."

Acrylics class #12

2010-03-10T15:37:00.000-08:00

Which ALMOST didn't happen for me due to the freaking snow dump we had last night. But luckily, this morning I was a total drama queen and my mom trekked up to my house, and fetched me so I could go to class.

I was so glad I did!! I really like Grisaille!!!

I took some shots at class:

Pretty boring, I guess. But it's good for learning!! I can't wait to apply this technique to more interesting forms!!

A view from my seat.

The finished product...I like it. It does look like watercolor, but a LOT easier and less fussy. I dig layering the colors. I could probably keep layering...maybe I will...I don't want to kill it, though.

Acrylics class #11

2010-03-08T14:42:00.000-08:00

Today was pretty cool!!

I'd read in Artists magazine about Grisaille- and technique in which you make an underpainting in neutral tones, then build into the real color of the subject through layers of glaze. It was interesting to me because I tend to like to build up my pieces- which is why I love pencil drawing so much.

Painting is slightly more committal, except in this sense. It allows to to block out the forms and get a sense of the value shapes.

We used the same forms as we used for the pear paintings last week, except this time, we were to use greys for the underpainting. I wish I'd had my camera- I'd have taken a shot of just the underpainting which was comprised in my case of various neutral blue/green/brown tones.

What you see here is the underpainting, with the first layer of yellow glaze on the bananas and lemons.

It's very water color-esque at the moment. I can't wait until Wednesday when I can keep going with this!!!

Lazy Sunday

2010-03-07T10:51:00.001-08:00

Yes, I'm referring to my favorite SNL short.

I worked on the pears painting yesterday. I tried to get the pears to be more grounded. It was hard without the still life in front of me. Ordinarily, I'd say a form is darkest where it meets the surface it sits on- that would certainly bind it to the picture plane. But a lot of times, theres a sliver of reflected light at that point coming form either behind the form or the light source bouncing off whatever it sits on. I'm not sure in this case without looking at it.

Oh well, I went back in and added more red to the pears and blended the shadows on the tablecloth. Then I added a second coat to the background, which I *hope* is effective.

Our portfolio is due tomorrow- which means we have to compile everything we've done so far, in order, completed and pretty. She also want's us to choose our top 3 pieces to discuss in class. I think for me, I will be the pears.

The first of the all white still live's I went back and fixed, because, while it's certainly not perfect, I achieved an atmosphere in this that I'd been unable to do in the past.

And perhaps, my quick study of the metal pipe. I like the way it's laid out, I liked my color choices, and I just think it was a fun composition.

We pick, and then she also picks and tells us why she made her choices. I love scutiny!!!

A re-written excerpt

2010-03-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

Just to spur myself on, here...

I began a re-write on a part that I've posted on here before. Its where Nina runs into John after years and years. I hope this is a better lead in. One problem I have is the setting- in San Francisco. I've been to San Francisco plenty of times. I know what it feels like and what it smells like- but I don't really KNOW it well enough to know exactly what it looks like near the BART station. It's not that big a deal, right? Because the reader may not know, either.

I AM going there in a couple weeks to spend the night and run the Across the Bay 12K. I'll have to take some notes .

Heres what I re-wrote, though:

Nina stood against the side of a building for a long time. The sun was going down, casting long slants of shadow across the busy street. The BART station entrance was just across the street and she had intended on walking in, but she stopped before crossing. She inhaled the sweet city air. It was saturated with perfumes of passersby, food, the sharp smells of cars pulsing along the hills, and the ever present salted sea smell that carried it all. She always thought she’d live here. She’d have gone to art school here then gotten an apartment that looked over the slope of one of it’s pastel streets. The morals of any city troubled her father, especially San Francisco with its reputation for being less-than-traditional. He wanted her out of the city, into the safe suburbs and all it’s mediocrity. She felt like a tourist and she hated it. She wanted to belong here, but, she didn’t.
Nina pushed chapstick over her mouth and sighed as she watched the people, trying to discern who lived in the city and who was visiting. It was hard to say. She imagined it was the casual ones with their heads down, not the people meandering, looking up and down the alleyways and stopping at every vista. She wondered f she could ever stop looking around if this was her street, everyday.
Her eyes ran over faces in decadent procrastination. If she got on that train, she’d have to go home and face her father and the fact that she’d have to find yet another job. She needed to pay for school, and help with the rent, though she didn’t think he’d actually put her out on the street. She shook her head pushed away the thoughts, letting her eyes glaze over the steady throb of people. Curly hair, white hair, dark skin, pale skin, suits, sweats, shorts, smiles, frowns grimmaces, smiles….and…something she hadn’t expected.
Familiarity in the form of eyes and nose and mouth. Brown hair laying every which way over dark brows. He was tall and he was walking towards the BART station on the other side of the street. Ninas feet began to walk without her knowledge towards the edge of the sidewalk. She stopped at the edge, thankfully, letting cars pass, but kept her eyes on the brown head with mind racing toward the possibility that she was right.

Acrylics class #10

2010-03-03T14:27:00.000-08:00

Todays painting was a still life on blue cloth where she really wanted us to focus on keeping the paint full-bodied instead of watering it down. We used canvas board instead of paper.

I felt really pressured during this painting- we didn't have a lot of time and I was nervous about the weather. They closed Wyatt and Violets school due to snow and I was trying to arrange a ride for them whenever I got a break.

I need to go back in with some of the blue and blend the shadows more. The stems need darkening- but not until I get the confounded background to look like its just that...in the BACK.

Rainy day musings

2010-03-02T13:56:00.000-08:00

(musings??)

Sometimes I don't have an idea for a post and I just start typing. Part of blogging for me is the writing aspect. Taking the things in my life and wording them out on the screen.

I've had my mind on painting quite a bit, lately. And I've been thinking about stuff like sandals and eyeliner. Most of my brainpower has been consumed by the questions of where to plant trees and what kinds of chickens to get that are pretty but still lay plenty of eggs. (after the great hen massacre of 2010)

I want to write. I want to re-write, that is. My characters are growing in my head again, and that means new facets to the story. New dialogue, possible turns in direction of the plot...it's all churning. I'm DYING for feedback, DYING. I am getting some from a very good friend of mine who's got the book right now. I love it...I need to see this story from OUTside my head.

I feel kinda crappy today- maybe the change in weather has something to do with that. It's supposed to snow tomorrow, which is always a spark for my brain. Isolation will do that to ya.

March the first.

2010-03-01T15:45:00.000-08:00

New month,eh? Thats cool.

Today was sort of cold, but I knew class would be warm so I layered. I started with a cut up navy blue t-shirt, then added my Thakoon (by Target) cardigan. Then I put on my Lucky Brand hoodie under my jean jacket and put on my leopard print pants. If only I had a striped t-shirt and a paisley hat...that would have been cool. (or, crazy, at least)

Today at class we did a critique of our fruit paintings...

(remember?)

It looked SO cool with everyone's on the wall. I took a picture with my cell phone, but like a dummy, didn't push save and lost it. That's ok...I don't even know how to get it off my phone.

It's always interesting to see the different styles that come out when you challenge a group of people to all do the same project. Now, they weren't all lemons, but, they were all similar in execution.

The criticism I received was:

The one that used violet for tinting the shadows was much more effective "more lifelike"

On that same one, the background could have used less opacity so as to make it recede more.

And that's pretty much it. I'm pretty happy with these paintings and can't wait to do more. On wednesday we're bringing CANVAS!!! Woo-hoo!!

New dress!!!

2010-02-28T20:16:00.000-08:00

I went to the mall last night and popped into the Gap just for fun. I was just about knocked over by how much lust I felt for this dress. It's SO, so me. Denim, 3/4 length sleves, dropped waist...I knew I had to get it.

I tried it on in Medium, but it wasn't as cute as I'd hoped. I mean, it was cute, but my thick waist made it look sort of lame.

I grabbed a Large and bought it anyway.

I love it too much. I am going to have to force myself NOT to wear it everyday. I'm sure its not flattering, but, I love it's slouchy cuteness anyway.

Heres my typical super grainy shot of it:

When I wear it again, I'll take a proper shot of it. Today I wore it to the feed store to get new chicks to replace my murdered flock. (wow...that was dramatic)

Homework done....two lame paintings improved.

2010-02-28T19:34:00.000-08:00

I got a nice chunk of time to work on stuff today. We woke up ridiculously late- about 10. This is something I haven't done in years. It was so nice. Breakfast was pancakes and bacon- served around noon.

I got out my painting gear right after and took out my awful paintings from class the last week. Wednesdays had to be finished, and Mondays had to be fixed.

He's Mondays painting before:

And after:

I could not get a handle on the greys when I did this painting originally. I had the forms down, but the greys were atrocious. I Adding a backgroud helped me define the spaces better and toning down some of the values brought more life to the painting. Still...not my best work in any way, but an improvement that will show in my portfolio (that gets turned in soon!!)

The next thing I did was finish wednesdays value study of boxes. It was a little confusing to have to finish a piece without the subject matter for reference, but, I took my knowledge of perspctive, and fixed some errant angles. I am struggling with my backgrounds- I can't seem to make them recede enough to look like...well...BACKgrounds. I hope Heike (my professor)will approve.

Now I have to prime a few sheets of Bristol and I'll be ready for the week!!

Homework: Finish this boring painting

2010-02-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

We are still working on Chromatic greys and perspective in class this week. Our homework is to finish the paintings we started in class on Wednesday.

So, yeah...it looks like a pile of lame. It's mostly an exercise, but, I hope once I finish it, I can give it some life and create some interest. I was thrilled to have actually mixed some good greys this time.

I was all proud of my lemon paintings, and I have a tendency to want my stuff to be the best in class (which is totally, totally awful of me). I was thinking how good I was at this. I'm really doing it...I CAN paint!! Then, my friend Brian who sits next to me pulls his out and my heart sank. His were absolutely awesome. So dimensional, so alive.

I guess I've got so much to learn. I'm actually really glad he sits next to me. He's such a good painter and it's good for me to see how he does it.

I've got SO far to go...

Sad.

2010-02-25T18:56:00.000-08:00

A dog friggin' got into our yard and killed ALL seven of my chickens.

I guess I couldn't be a farmer because I hate this. I am so sad. They were just birds, and they crap all over the place and they don't really love me back or anything, but I loved them. I loved when I 'd pick them up and feel their soft feathers under my fingers. I loved the noise they made when I came outside and the way they'd all roost on the roof of their coop.

I wouldn't feel so bad if they weren't simply ripped apart for sport by my piece-of-shit-neighbors dog. I found one of them- buried completely in the dirt except for one foot. The other was strewn in said neighbors yard. I never found the 5 others except for a bunch of white feathers from my white Silkie, Luna. My yard is covered in feathers and dog prints. I still kinda hope the rest are out there, but, they can't make it outside in the mountains like this for very long, if the dog didn't get them, a fox or bobcat would have.

Goodbye Luna, Ginny, Hermione, Myrtle, Molly, Brietta, and Henrietta.

Loving the NaNoWrimo forums, still

2010-02-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

Yes, though it is no long National Novel Writing month, the nerds over at www.nanowrimo.org are still going strong.

I'm so glad, too. I've been having this week of weirdness, dreams about fake people, new music adding a spin to my imagination and a whole slew of new dialogue that could potentially sew together the plot holes. I've needed a place where I could see other people besides myself are obsessed. Now, a lot of them live at home, or live alone with their collection of reptiles. Some are just kids, and some are...well..I'm not sure what some of them really do all day, but, they all seem to get me and my need to sacrifice my brain for the sake of creative endeavor.

And every once and a while, you run across someone totally normal who you relate with, and that makes all the difference.

I have a few copies of Blood Freckles floating around out there, now. I'm hoping for some real solid criticism. I know the story is not strong enough yet to be widely read, and I hope that a kick in the pants and the realization of some harsh realities will put me on the path of writing something I'll be proud to put my name on. Again, I'm not even talking publishing as much as the fleshing out of something my mind has produced, as well as the justification of hours and HOURS of staring and talking to myself.

Does any of that make sense?

If you are one of the 4 people who has the book in their hands, I hope you won't be afraid to give it to me straight. Tell me Johns actions are unlikely. Tell me Nina is a dolt who you don't care about. Remind me it'd all be better if John was dead. Say that there's too much extra-sensory talent in this story. I can take it. I know...I know...and tell me I need to stop using ellipses. I know... :)

Death by laundry.

2010-02-23T12:50:00.000-08:00

It's possible. I know this because I think my own clothing situation is making me ill...it's just the beginning.

My house is two-story, with the living area upstairs and the laundry room and bedrooms downstairs. This is awesome when someone drops by- we shove everything downstairs.

The only problem is, we've been doing that a lot lately, and theres a bit of a...ahem...pile up down there.

Someone should go through it all and sort it. Someone should get the clean stuff put away and the dirty into the hamper (thats currently buried). Someone should purge some stuff.

I wish that someone wasn't me. I'm not sure how normal people live, but for me, stuff like laundry and dishes are certainly an afterthought, only taken care in the case of guilt or obvious need.

I do like order. I like a clean house. I don't like maintaining one, though.

Ok. I'm off. I am going to attempt to be productive. It might kill me. It's been nice knowing you.

You win some, you lose some, or class #8

2010-02-23T08:34:00.000-08:00

In response to this painting at class yesterday, my professor actually said, "Ok...what happened?"

Classic case of over-thinking. Wonderful example of struggling through a piece. This looks like crap. I'll bet you can't even tell what I was intending. This is an all-white still life in which we weren't allowed to use any black to make up the grays. Seemed to be something I'd be fine at, but, as it turns out, I couldn't get grey if it killed me.

If you mix blue/red/yellow in the right doses, you get a neutral that can be mixed with white. All grey tends to lean toward warm or cool, and one should be able to get there with proper mixing. Assuming you know how to do this. Which, obviously, I don't...YET!!

I'm supposed to finish this by tomorrow, on top of priming some sheets of Bristol paper with my very small amount of Gesso...I REALLY need to get to Utrecht and get some supplies. (too bad its and hour and a half from here...totally worth it, though.)

My look of the moment

2010-02-22T16:12:00.000-08:00

I'm obsessed with this orange lipstick. It makes me immeasurably giddy. And I'm wearing my bangs all in my eyes like an 18 year old. I'm sure I'll get tired of it, but for right now it's kinda fun. Plus it hides some aging I've got going on.

Why are my chickens scared of my bunny? (not a joke...I really don't get why she freaks them out so much)

Homework: 2 paintings

2010-02-21T17:47:00.000-08:00

It feels like my entire weekend was spent painting, which is a pretty cool thing. Our assignment was to do two paintings of uni-colored fruit on a neutral background. For one, value changes or shading could only be done using black and white along with the local color of the fruit and what it sat on. For the next one, we were do the same thing, except shade with the complementary hue of the fruit, in my case, being violet, since I used lemons.

The first one felt surprisingly successful. I wasn't real happy with the composition I choose, and it was a rough start, but i liked the result.

The next one was a pain in the butt. Violet and yellow do not like each other and this made for a streaky mess. The result, after several layers of paint, worked out.

Side by side, they look very similar, but the one on the right looks warmer and has a bit more dimension than the painting that only used black and white.

Fascinating. *lifts one eyebrow ala Spock....*

There must be an answer to all my weirdness

2010-02-19T08:49:00.000-08:00

I was a weird kid, but I haven't gotten much better with age. My eccentricities have only deepened and mature with age like some obscure vinegar. Strangely, I managed to get married to someone who either tolerates or perhaps appreciates my lack of common sense and imaginary friends. I also have somehow acquired a decent cast of real-life friends who seemed to laughingly put up with my quirks.

There are some things I tend to filter for real life people. For example- I really, really like cats. It's almost unnatural. As a kid I thought I could read their minds and they could read mine. I'm still not completely convinced this isn't true. Also, I really love the smell of their fur- if they are near me, my nose in undoubtedly pressed into their little cat-heads. This makes me happy.

Another thing that's weird is how obsessed I am with my stories. I've been this way since I was little- before I could write them down. I've always had other people, other worlds and other lives going on. Generally those lives re-appear as soon as I'm alone or at least out of ear-shot.

I'm pretty sure it's not psychosis, as I know it's not real. I'm ok with it not being real. Every once and a while, though, it feels like they cross over.

I've got to finish this book, folks. I'm no a strong writer- I have no dream of becoming famous as a writer. I just want to write a few book about these people in my head. And I want to do my best.

A couple nights ago...I had a dream about a guy...it was too foggy to get a sense of what was happening or where. But it was one of those things where I woke up half expecting it till to be going on. It was visceral- like I could smell him. I think...and this is weird...it was John. Yes...fake John from my story. No real person...no one my husband has to beat the tar out of or anything. It was just like he was in my head but super-real. Not some Robert Pattinson-inspired conjured cloud of an idea.

I was starting to separate myself from Blood Freckles, as a way of giving up for a while, at least. It's just not strong enough. But then..this... This weird thing that seemed to say..."No! Don't stop!! Make them real!!! Keep going!"

I really have a lot of housework I could be doing. I should be painting, since thats an much more realistic way for me to succeed at something, but...I can't. I'm too weird. Too obsessed with why John would have left Nina in San Francisco and disappeared. And why he would come back...

Acrylics class #7

2010-02-17T19:17:00.000-08:00

Today was cool- we did a quick painting of some familiar objects we used in my Art 300 drawing class. They are these crazy galvanized ducts- all funky and turning at odd angles. Heres a shoddy picture of one of my first contour drawings from last semester. We weren't allow to erase or pick up our pencils- but this shows the forms:

These were hard to do in our 10 minute painting- I really only blocked out the one I chose to paint. I'd have loved more time!!!

Then she had us do a long painting in just grey scale of the usual simple forms. This was interesting- I thought it'd be easier to do than color. There was less mixing, but much more care was needed in differentiating the value scale. I'm not done with this- I'm going to scumble in the rest of the background before I have to turn in my portfolio. I'm pretty pleased with how I did, though. The bottle in the foreground needs help, but, the values are good- so I wont touch it.

All in all it's more good practice thats really increasing my skills. I'm eating it up. And did I mention my non-sexual crush on my professor? I freaking love her!!!

Check out this old picture of me:

I remember thinking I looked really ugly here. (I was about 15...) Guess what? I was WRONG. Holy Crap. When did I get old? Ok, enough vanity. I was thinking of drawing this because of the nice values. Maybe I will...if I'm going to screw something up, it may as well be my OWN face!!

Warm weather brings back my fashion lust...

2010-02-17T18:57:00.001-08:00

Title says it all. But you know I'm going to elaborate regardless.

It's been sunny and spring-like this week. I've bared ankles and toes and even ventured out sans-sleeves. I realize the past few months I've been in some sort of clothing depression.

Being buried under a down coat or layered in rain-proof jackets puts a serious dent in any outfit. I mean- who cares about your shirt when its snowing, or when rains is sheeting down?

I got some nice warm things this winter, but I'm thinking about dresses again. Dresses..blouses...sandals...I may even venture to the thrift store again.

I'd really like some nice vintage blouses. (not vintage, but its vintage-ish)

I want a trashed pair of jeans to cut into shorts.

And I'd love some fun dresses. (this one being an example of a shape I like)

For shoes I really want a better pair of black leather gladiator sandals. Perhaps these:

Born Macadamia

Yeah, sure I could find some more fashion-forward sandals, but I'm also a runner, and I take care of my feet. Plus, I often have to chase birds and children. Facts of life, my friends.

So, thats what's on my fashion-brain.

Another homework assignment

2010-02-16T17:38:00.000-08:00

I'm learning a lot from these seemingly simplistic homework assignments in my painting class.

This weeks was a glazing assignment. We were to make two 9 inch by 9 inch grids, then criss cross primary color across them to overlap. One was done in paint thinned with water and the other thinned with glazing medium.

Here's the water-thinned grid:

It's definitely like water-color, for obvious reasons. Very streaky- and not very saturated.

Here's the one I thinned with Liquitex Glazing medium:

I know its not a big difference in these photos. Still a bit streaky, but more bold, more saturated. The paper stained less and the colors took to each other more easily.

Interesting.

Neatness is a big part of our grade, and thats something I REALLY struggle with. I hope these are ok.

Re-write #4

2010-02-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

This is the little section I posted a few days ago. This is a fairly pivotal section, one of the parts I imagined over and over. That's why it was so important for me to make it good. Despite the larger plot calamities I'm facing, there are still some things I KNOW about this story, and love.

So, here's the before:

John was dressed but hadn’t showered, nor had he shaved. He had put on a button down shirt and different jeans. His eyebrows pressed downward, and his eyes were on her hand, which he was holding. He seemed to be following the paths of freckles on the back of her hand and up her arm. “Remember what you said? About the freckles?”
Nina’s heart started to throb, she knew what was coming, and wanted to press him on why he’d gotten dressed. “Blood Freckles.” She said, clearing her throat. She pulled the sheet up over her in an attempt to avert the goosebumps. She’d said it because his arms were covered in tiny red dots of blood after Jeremy shot himself. She’d been holding him on the front steps of her house as the police came. They looked like freckles.
He smiled and looked up at her. “They had had to force me to wash them off.” He looked down at her hand.
“I wouldn’t come inside that night.”
He looked up at her. “Really?”
“My dad dragged me inside, praying against whatever had possessed me. I kicked and screamed.” She looked up into his face. “I thought Jeremy was still there. I wanted to try and…talk to him.”

And the after, in which I wove a bit of the backstory in with the present. Hopefully this was successful:

John was dressed but hadn’t showered, nor had he shaved. He had put on a button down shirt and different jeans. His eyebrows pressed downward, and his eyes were on her hand, which he was holding. He seemed to be following the paths of freckles on the back of her hand and up her arm. “Remember what you said? About the freckles?”
Nina’s heart started to throb, dread rising up in her as she eyed his packed bags. “Blood Freckles.” She said, clearing her throat and shaking off the embarrassment of having said such a strange thing. The memory was as fresh as yesterday and year melted away into the day Jeremy died. After the gunshot, she dragged John to her house, her mother panicking, torn between running in and calling for help and inspecting Nina for wounds. They got to the steps outside the door of the kitchen and crumpled down onto them. Nina held John in her arms as though he was the smaller child. He held her back with shaking arms that were covered in specks of blood, gripping at her clothes.
He tilted his head to one side and looked up at her. “They had had to force me to wash them off.” He looked down at her hand, memory pressing in on his mind. His mother pleading with him to undress, to shower, to step away from the tragedy and let her comfort him. He’d refused for about an hour when his stepdad came and pushed him into the shower, causing him to fall backward, scraping the backs of his legs on the tracks for the shower door. Gary shut the doors, trapping John in the water that proceeded to stream away with the last of Jeremy. The last of Jeremy that was real.
“I wouldn’t come inside that night.” Nina said thinking further into the memory of her knees raw from sitting in the grass at the sun went down. Her parents calling her, concerned from the house after all the police and the men from the coroners office left.
He looked up at her. “Really?”
“Finally my dad dragged me inside, praying against whatever had possessed me. I kicked and screamed.” She looked up into his face. “I thought Jeremy was still there.”

Got my dose of orange lips!!!

2010-02-13T20:14:00.000-08:00

I made my way to Sephora today, totally set on buying one particular orange lipstick, but ended up trying on about half a dozen others and settling on one perfect choice.

The one I was going to get was very matte, very opaque- super retro. But I decided on a nice gloss, as spring is coming and I wanted something fresher and more modern.

I've never even heard of this brand- Illamasqua. I got the Intense Gloss in Temper. I love it!! A nice, nice texture and a wonderful intensity of color. Just what the doctor ordered.

Forget that last re-write.

2010-02-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

It's beyond repair from a plot stand-point. But I found another mini-section I'd like to make more potent. Its the section where the story gets it name.

John was dressed but hadn’t showered, nor had he shaved. He had put on a button down shirt and different jeans. His eyebrows pressed downward, and his eyes were on her hand, which he was holding. He seemed to be following the paths of freckles on the back of her hand and up her arm. “Remember what you said? About the freckles?”
Nina’s heart started to throb, she knew what was coming, and wanted to press him on why he’d gotten dressed. “Blood Freckles.” She said, clearing her throat. She pulled the sheet up over her in an attempt to avert the goosebumps. She’d said it because his arms were covered in tiny red dots of blood after Jeremy shot himself. She’d been holding him on the front steps of her house as the police came. They looked like freckles.
He smiled and looked up at her. “They had had to force me to wash them off.” He looked down at her hand.
“I wouldn’t come inside that night.”
He looked up at her. “Really?”
“My dad dragged me inside, praying against whatever had possessed me. I kicked and screamed.” She looked up into his face. “I thought Jeremy was still there. I wanted to try and…talk to him.”

I need to get my head back into this and figure out what to do with John. Fretting over my very own imaginary person. Somehow fitting for me.

Too tired.

2010-02-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

I think I may be coming down with something. That, or I just need to stay home for a day. This week has been stupid. Nothing has gotten done around here and my brains all freaked out. I have all this new music I want to listen to, stuff I want to write, even a burgeoning painting in my head. But I have to be HERE to do that stuff- not in the car, not at preschool, not at moms house...ugh. I'm tired.

I need to do some plot doctoring for Blood Freckles. The further I step away from it, the more I am sure about the lameness of John's plot. In the beginning we see John having just lost his mother. Having had a couple suicide attempts in the past, he decides he's done for real, but runs into Nina. He still feels he can't handle life so he leaves Nina to go off himself.

Nina has no idea where he's gone, and moves back east, hoping maybe thats where he went. And the story progresses for her. But foe John...it's kind of on pause. Why the heck, if he really wanted to die, wouldn't he just do it? And be dead before Nina even gets on a plane? What the heck would he be waiting for? Whats he doing? It's a giant, giant hole.

And that hole makes my stomach hurt. I only have a few feeble ideas. One being that he really doesn't think he can die, but he can't bear to be with Nina, either. He can't bear to make attachments with people he knows are going to get hurt. (is that too Twilight? Damn Twilight!!)

I just don't know.

And then theres the matter of this other story, another re-write about a couple of people that have spent there lives as conservative Christians only to find themselves as lost adults with lots of questions. It kind of explores the idea that regardless of your upbringing, people are still human and human agendas find their way into lives and tend to destroy them- no matter what. I don't know. Sounds harsh, but it's not. I just find my own life of church and Christian school to be full of write-able issues.

I want to listen to the music I just got. I recently acquired Cave Singers, Diane Birch, the newest Muse album and Horse Feathers. I still have to go to preschool. Real life blows.

Acrylics class #6

2010-02-09T09:11:00.001-08:00

Good times!! My back hurt after this class- I stood the whole time, as we painted for the entire two hours.

We are still talking about color theory, but she's trying to keep us painting constantly. I freaking love it. I seriously live for these two days a week.

The first painting we did was a 10 minute painting of a primary colored still life.

Last semester in my drawing class, there was a classmate who's work was constantly compared with mine. I think we are at a similar skill level (though he may be a bit ahead of me, really), but our approach is opposite! His drawing were very dark, very rough. Accurate, but bold. My drawing were accurate, but light, and smooth.

This semester- we sit next to each other and are finding the same thing with out paintings!! Fascinating!! His style is much more impressionistic- no lines, bold choices of color, whereas my paintings are sketch-like. I should try and take a picture of our still life's side by side. Very cool.

For this next painting we had an hour. I think I ruined it with the back ground. It's not technically done, in my eyes. The oranges through me for a loop- it was hard to get the reds right. Shadows on red are really hard to do- I could not get the right tones. And next time, I'm bringing my giant masonite clipboard so I can paint upright- my angles are BAD and the bottles are crooked. Ugh.

Homework:Finished.

2010-02-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, this should have gotten posted last night, but it was a crazy weekend full of a lot of dancing, screaming, late night and other random wildness that rarely happens to a 30-something mother of three.

Our assignment was to make a color wheel and to create color scales from black to white with the primary colors in between. I got them done last night- I thought it might be a bit of drudgery, but it wasn't. I still love painting even when I HAVE to do it. Go figure.

I'll post about the hour-long still life we had to do at class today later on.

Current favorite outfit

2010-02-08T14:51:00.000-08:00

You know how I hate taking pictures-thus the downfall of Backwoods Fashionista. Please forgive this horrible image I took.

That being said, I think I love this outfit. It's my romper I bought last summer, over tights and under a navy cardigan. The boots look cool with it, too. And it feels like wearing pajamas. This is day 2 in this ensemble. I'm not joking. I like it that much. I don't smell, don't worry.

BOC by Born boots, HUE cotton tights, I love Ronson romper and Kersch cardigan.

Full of ice cream

2010-02-05T20:53:00.000-08:00

I just ate a huge bowl of ice cream with berries and whipped cream. I really need to run more, because I can't help myself from these indulgences.

My brain is bursting with scenes and ideas tonight, and it's making me kind of cranky. Sort of like when you're nursing and engorged with milk but the baby is staying with grandma. Or like carrying overfull bags of groceries and you're locked out of the house.

I need to write stuff down, however disorganized and lame.

And I STILL haven't done my homework.

Obsessed with orange liptick and other thoughts.

2010-02-04T14:01:00.000-08:00

I so need to do my homework for my class, but, I can't right now- as I'm pretty sure it'd be a disaster involving little hands grabbing brushes and begging to help. I guess I'll wait.

Whats the orange lipstick thing? Do you know about my liptick problem? I'm completely addicted to lipstick, the idea of lipstick, the feel of lipstick, lipstick packaging and the look of lipsticked lips.

When I was a kid, my mom always got those Estee Lauder makeup kits for christmas along with her yearly perfume. I usually stole the lipsticks. One year, the kit included a bright, true orange lipstick that I LOVED. I also saw that Kat Von D has a great looking orange lipstick.

The other night, I went to the mall and tried on Bobbi Browns Rich Color gloss in Melon. I didnt buy it (since I was already buying creme eyeshadow), but I wish I had! I totally rocked it!!! It's a great, juicy color- and the formula is really, really nice. I'm not usually a gloss person, but this stuff rocks. Now, I can't stop thinking about orange, peach, coral, etc. I love me some red lips, but Orange...hmmmmm.

And probably due to the nostalgia that spending time with high school girlies brings, I'm churning plots in my head to do a re-write (yes, another one of Carolyns regurgitated stories). It's about the culture of American Christians- the good the bad and the downright ugly. And it's about being afraid of who you are and who you might be...blah, blah, blah...romance..more Carolyn stuff. I think with this story, I just like writing the beginning and nothing else. It's fun to take a break from Blood Freckles, though...which needs some serious help.

Arcylics class #5

2010-02-03T15:06:00.000-08:00

Today's class, once I actually got there, dealt with COLOR THEORY. Did I mention how badly I need to hear this stuff??

Imagine my frustration when I was getting out of my car and locked my keys in it- along with my supplies for class. I freaked.

I checked into class and was surprised that the towing company came in 10 minutes and had the car open. Disaster averted, and I only missed a short discussion on secondary and tertiary colors. (and I had to pay $49 to the towing dude)

She had us make three color scales progressing from red to yellow, yellow to blue and blue to red.

FASCINATING. Not that it was some original idea or anything, I just really enjoyed this exercise and learned a lot from it. And color is just so darned pretty.

Rewrite #3

2010-02-02T08:39:00.003-08:00

This section is particularly shaky. Its also some thing I may omit, eventually. Here we see John, who has a problem with visions. He sees things when he touches object. He get impressions of events, past present or future. This is an example of such a time, when he decides he's going to test it, and finds something he feels he can change.

The problem is, my writing is horrible, and I don't think I've done enough back story to this part of him to back up how this happens for him. This section is full of lame, lets see if I can't just shine it up this afternoon.

Here's the before:

An exit came up and John took it, finding it led into a small town like so many scattered along the east coast. He was at a stop light, and began to feel it- purpose, a draw towards some thread n the fabric of existence. It wasn’t visible, but it was unavoidable and he put all his mind into it. Eventually his car found itself at a pharmacy. It was a national chain, nothing special in anyway. It was crowded with people picking up household items, and there was a long line of people picking up prescriptions. He wandered up and down the aisles trying to discern what it is he was looking for. He tried picking up objects, thinking perhaps there was something wrong with a product, but he stopped when he noticed an employee watching him. He looked like a shoplifter.
John had been holding a can of tomatoes. He smiled and looked at the woman, wearing a green vest bearing the name of the store.
“Finding everything alright?” She said. She was in her mid-forties, had thick, coarse blonde hair that she’d tried to subdue into a clip of some sort.
“Yeah, I think so.” He looked at the can. “Oh- these aren’t whole tomatoes? I’d better get crushed ones…” He put the can back and grabbed a different one.
The woman held out a hand-held shopping basket. “Here, this will help.” She smiled.
Everything went grey when he touched the handle. The sides of his visual plane warped up and he could see the woman…but it wasn’t her, it was a younger version of her. She was walking, somewhere, maybe an office building. When he caught a better look at her face he could see it wasn’t the drug store woman at all, but perhaps a a relative of her. The vision shifted, following the veins of the day- where this other woman had gone, and where she’d come from. A blue house with vinyl siding. Children. And beside the blue house, a huge, doomed propane tank. He could see the hose connecting it to the house, the painted words of the fuel company on the tank. And he could feel the normal panic that accompanied these sights.
John looked up and the woman was gone. He looked up into the mirrors that lined the ceilings and saw her heading towards the break room. He bolted towards her, catching her on the shoulder before she wen through swinging doors into the back of the store. Touching her shoulder gave him even more detail. “Luann?”
She turned around, startled. “Excuse me?”
“Luann, are you Luann?”
“No…” She narrowed her eyes at him.
John shifted his weight. “Who IS Luann, then?”
“What is this about?” She looked into the same ceiling mirrors John had used to find her, looking for another employee.
“I’m sorry to bother you- I’m not from here. But…I know that something is going ot happen to Luann.”
“What are you talkng about?”
“It’s a propane tank- it’s leaking. She shouldn’t go home, unless she gets it fixed. If it blows…the house could be destroyed. It…it looks like she has children…”
The employee, whose name tag read “Georgia” stared at John with wide eyes. She laughed awkwardly. “Who are you?”
“My name is John. I’m just passing through. I don’t know how to explain how I know, and I don’t expect you to trust a stranger, I mean, I don’t know if I would. But, all I’m saying is…this person…Luann-”
“She’s my little sister.” Georgia voice quavered. She looked at John intently. “How…”
“I know. It’s just one of those things. I can’t explain it, I just….saw it when you handed me the basket.”
“She’s in Oklahoma.”
“Can you call her?”
“I can call her at work, I guess. The kids should be at school…” She let her voice trail off. There was a pay phone in the hall behind her. She rushed to it and used a calling card to pay for the time. “I know, honey….I know. I’m just saying- call someone to go look at it. I know, I’ll…I’ll even pay for it, if thats the problem, I’ll send you a check if I’m wrong.” Georgia looked at John who was leaning against the adjacent wall.

This afternoon, I will work on the "after". The biggest problem is the fact that this scene is rushed. (blame it on the whole, "novel in one month" thing, I guess) Theres no reason why this woman wouldn't assume Johns some sort of maniac who's trying to kill her sister. I thought I'd crafted it well enough to avoid this feeling, but, I now see that not true. Hmmm....what to do, what to do...

Acrylics class #4

2010-02-01T14:54:00.000-08:00

Today we did more short paintings of primary colored still life, and watched a short painting demonstration by my professor (on whom I have a non-sexual crush).

It was great to be REALLY shown how someone experienced starts a painting. And she showed us some little tricks about managing the paint on your palette, the problems of yellow paint, etc. I'm eating it up!!!

Here's today's 20 minute painting on Bristol primed with Gesso:

I like parts of this. The time limit does just that- it limits the ability to fix anything or add detail, but it's such a great challenge to have to get the info down accurately (or convincingly, at least). I like the sphere- or sphere-ish thing. I like the color combo. I don't mind my bottles. The cone needs help. The blue here is not accurate to the blue in real life on the form- this is Cyan and it's probably closer to Phthalo Blue...oh well.

Our homework is to paint 3 value scales using 10 one-inch square progressing from white to black in blue, yellow and red. I'm sure it's harder than it sounds.

A great weekend, and some great anticipation

2010-02-01T07:59:00.000-08:00

This last weekend was such a blast, I'm having trouble being normal again. I really enjoyed being free of responsibility. I enjoyed the freedom of speech, the giggling, the change in environment and stupid things like driving alone for a long stretch of time.

I went away with my high school friends and rented a house on Tomales Bay, which is near Point Reyes, CA. If you are a mother- please get away like this. It' invaluable for your sanity. And I just love my friends- there's not too much time in real day-to-day life to just laugh until you hurt. It's as good as therapy. (not that I've ever had any therapy, actually...)

Its also important to know people- REALLY know people. I am lucky to have two groups of girls in my life with whom such honesty exists- these girls from high school, and my friends up where I live. I'm blessed.

Today for my painting class, our homework was to prime two sheets of 18 by 24 Bristol board with 2 coats of Gesso and bring to class. I'm excited to see what we'll be painting on them- and whether or not I did it right!

And in other news, I'm re-inspired to write after this weekend. One of my friends is actually reading this blog and gave me a bit of feedback on my Novel excerpt! I had no idea you were reading, Jo!!! It re-ignited my sort of discouraged thoughts about this book...I think when I get home today, I'll do a bit of typing...

Another mini-section edited.

2010-01-28T14:30:00.000-08:00

As I promised- because I know my readers are waiting to read each post...on the edge of their seats...all...two of you.

Anyway, I choose a section of dialogue where Nina is talking to Frank at the police station.

Here's the before:

Around noon, Frank came in to relieve Rich for lunch. “You mind me eating in here? You need as much observation as possible.” He said. “I’m supervisor, so, I can afford to sit inside for a while.”

“That’s fine.” She said, opening her drawer and pulling out a bag of pretzels and some cheese.

He sat down in the chair. Nina would have liked to stretch her legs, but stayed in her chair peeling the string cheese. She watched him flip through screens on the computer, then roll back and look at the prints out. “These are pretty slow today, huh?”

“I guess.” She said- she hadn’t really noticed them printing.

“How you feeling about everything?” He leaned back in the chair and tapped a pen on the desk chair. His eyes were really big, she hadn’t noticed before.

“Good. I mean, I’m not feeling ready to be on my own at all- I’m not sure I’ll ever be.” She said.

He smiled, revealing deep dimples. “You will.” He looked down at her hand. “You’re engaged?”

Nina swallowed an oversized bite of cheese. “Huh?” She coughed, hoping she wasn’t being hurled into an embarassing unstoppable bought of coughs.

He pointed to her hand. “The ring? How long ‘till the big day?”

Nina looked down at the ring, and her lungs collapse. She took a drink and swallowed hard. “It’s not an engagement ring.” She said blankly.

“Oh, well, it’s on the right finger, or, rather, the correct finger. I just figured…”

“No, you’re right. Maybe I should wear it on the other hand.” She twisted it off and held it for a second, wishing Frank’s eyes weren’t on her.

I need to infuse more character detail throughout the entire story. There is a serious deficit of richness- but this is largely due to the the NaNoWriMo format of writing fast.

Here's the after:

Around noon, Frank came in to relieve Rich for lunch. Rich got up, stretched and slapped Nina on the back so hard it moved the chair she sat in. Frank sat down and set a Styrofoam container on the desk. “‘You mind me eating in here? You need as much observation as possible.” He said. “I’m supervisor, so, I can afford to sit inside for a while.”

“So, you do what you want.” She said, opening her drawer and pulling out a bag of pretzels and some cheese.

“Pretty much.” He said, blowing on steaming pasta to cool it down. He moved the mouse for the records computer and let out an obnoxious sigh.

Nina would have liked to stretch her legs, but stayed in her chair peeling the string cheese. She watched him flip through screens on the computer, then roll back and look at the fax machine. “Things are pretty slow today, huh?”

“I guess.” She said.

“How you feeling about everything?” He leaned back in the chair holding his pasta in one hand and poking at it with his fork. With his hat off, she could see how long his hair was. Most of the officers wore their heads shaved, but he had hair. Long enough that it had to be retained by some sort of hair product to kept it professional at work. His eyes were large and set in under his eyebrows . They were roundest next to the bridge of his nose, tapering out towards the sides of his face. His nose was the straightest, most perfect nose she’d ever seen.

Her observation nearly buried his question in the recesses of her brain. She cleared her throat.“Good. I mean, I’m not feeling ready to be on my own at all- I’m not sure I’ll ever be.” She said.

He smiled, revealing deep dimples. “You will.” He looked down at her hand. “You’re engaged?” He said, taking in a fork full of pasta.

Nina swallowed an oversized bite of cheese. “Huh?” She coughed, hoping she wasn’t being hurled into an embarassing unstoppable bought of coughs.

He pointed to her hand. “The ring? How long ‘till the big day?”

Nina looked down at the ring, and her lungs collapsed. She wasn’t engaged. She didn’t even know where John was. She took a drink and swallowed hard. “It’s not an engagement ring.” She managed.

“Oh, well, it’s on the right finger, or, rather, the correct finger. I just figured…”

“No, you’re right. Maybe I should wear it on the other hand.” She twisted it off and held it for a second, wishing Frank’s eyes weren’t on her.

So, it's better- not vastly changed.

I'll choose another section in another post so that my posts aren't like, 3 screens long. I need to just keep chopping away at this story. Plus, I'm re-thinking some serious plot issues...